蜜雪儿 我们实现了 祝我们顺利毕业 Well, Michelle, we did it. Happy graduation.
你知道 住在我父母的家 You know, Iiving at my parents' house,
只是临时的 th-that's, um... that's a temporary thing.
我们已经搬出去住三年了 Uh, we've been going out for, what, three years.
你没感到厌烦吧? You're not, Iike, getting bored with things, are you?
蜜雪儿 我想问件从没问过你的事 Michelle, I... I'm gonna ask you something that I've never asked you before.
很古怪的事? 我想不是 不怪 Is it kinky? I don't think so. No.
如果你想在我们的关系上多加些调剂 不用不好意思 You don't have to be embarrassed if you want to add more spiciness to our relationship.
其实是... Actually, um,
也许你可以...你知道的 maybe you could just, uh, you know,
用你的餐巾 use your napkin.
- 我的月经条? - 莱文斯汀先生 - My napkin? - Mr. Levenstein.
是的 你的电话 Yes. You have a phone call.
等一下 谢谢 Excuse me. Thank you.
- 你好 - 吉姆 是爸爸 你把戒指忘在家里了 - Hello. - Jim, it's Dad. Uh, you left the ring at home.
你带的盒子是空的 我正赶着送来 The box is empty. But-But I'm on my way,
我找到... and I've got the...
我找到戒指了 别紧张 孩子 好吗? I've got the ring, so don't panic, son. Okay?
再见 Bye-bye.
谁找你? Who was that?
呃...是我爸爸 Uh, that was my dad.
他不能... That was, uh, my dad. That was, uh... He couldn't get through on...
我没回电话 所以他打过来... I didn't answer my cell. So he was, uh,
他什么都担心 getting all, uh... was getting all worried.
你了解他的 但现在一切正常 You know how he is. But everything is, uh... everything is okay now.
一切...都非常好 Everything is, uh... Everything is perfectly fine.
我知道你想要我做什么了 I think I know what you're gonna ask me.
我想可以...但不用我的月经条 And it's okay. L... I don't have to use my napkin.
- 什么... - 我有我的绝招 - Wha... - I've got my own techniques.
蜜雪儿 你去哪儿?你去那干什么? Michelle, where... where are you going?
蜜雪儿? 嘿 嘿 Michelle? Hey. Hey.
好的 Okay.
好了 蜜雪儿 Okay, Michelle. Michelle.
噢 上帝 蜜雪儿 Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Michelle.
嘘! Psst!
蜜雪儿 我认为你该停下来... 好吧 继续... Michelle, I think you need to stop. Okay, keep going.
上帝 蜜雪儿 Oh, my God. Michelle. Michelle.
蜜雪儿... 噢 我的天 Michelle! Oh, my God.
天啊 Oh, my God. Okay.
好了 我赶来了 蜜雪儿去哪儿了? 洗手间? Well, I made it. Where's Michelle? The washroom?
我怕她会认出我 戒指在这 孩子 You know, I was so nervous she was gonna spot me. Here's the ring, son.
我得告诉你 Ohh. Let me tell you something.
这不是一般的戒指 看看这上面的宝石 This is some ring. Look at the rock on this baby.
希望你不会失望 孩子 Mr. Big Spender. Hope you didn't blow your wad on this, son.
不会 你妈妈和我... Not yet. Your mother and I...
都非常关心你 吉姆 could not be more thrilled for you, Jim.
我的意思是 我们非常高兴 我知道你非常兴奋 我能看出来 I mean, we're so happy. And I know you're excited. I can see it in your face.
你看起来快爆炸了 啊 - I mean, you look like you're ready to burst. - Uh-huh.
你的脸都红了 我真希望你妈妈在这儿 I mean, your cheeks, they're flush. I wish your mother could be here.
而不是我 这是我希望的 你知道 这... Not me. That's what I wish. You know, this is...
吉姆 这是一个难忘的时刻 this is one of those moments, Jim,
将在你今后的一生中都会铭记 that you're gonna remember for the rest of your life.
- 是的 - 没错 - Yes, it is. - You bet it is.
肯定是 You bet it is.
我不敢相信我的儿子就要求婚了 I cannot believe my son is gonna pop the question.
什么声音? What was that?
什么? Th-That?
这个? 敲桌子的声音 That? Knockin' on wood.
你说求什么婚? And what is this, uh, popping... popping what? What question?
哎 你真糊涂 You are... Oh, you're a wreck. What...
你需要呼吸些新鲜空气 You need some air. You need some air.
- 跟我去车里谈 - 不 我不跟你去 - Walk me to my car. - No, I'm not walking you...
听我说 这是为你好 Listen to me. This is for your own good.
噢 Oh!
你的"小弟弟" Your penis!
你的"小弟弟" 他在这儿 Watch your penis. I got it.
你的裤子? 我穿着裤子 Your pants. I got the pants!
我穿着裤子 I got the pants! Please!
对不起 请大家冷静 Everybody, please. Everybody just calm down here.
请大家安静 小点声 Everybody, just quiet! Lower your voice.
真恶心 It's disgusting!
现在 Now,
我来在这里是想... I came here to do something...
可恶 我得解决... And, damn it, I'm... I'm gonna do it.
蜜雪儿 Michelle.
你好 亲爱的 Hello, dear.
蜜雪儿 Michelle Anabeth Flaherty,
我爱你... I love you...
胜过我能... more than I could...
这能解释清楚现在发生的一切 ever explain at this particular moment.
爸爸 戒指 Dad. The ring.
噢 Oh.
你愿意嫁给我吗? 愿意 Will you marry me? Yes.
是我儿子 My son.
我是世界上最幸福的人 I'm the happiest man in the world.
我们都应该非常高兴 We should all be so happy.
干杯 先生们 亲爱的 Cheers, gentlemen, sweetheart.
我的印象太深了 I'm impressed.
婚姻是种结合 Marriage is a binding,
是统一 是永恒 unifying, eternal,
没有尽头 是永远... never-ending, permanent...
把两个人联系在一起 chaining together of two people.
吉姆 你一直这样认为? Jim, have you thought this through?
是的 芬奇 谢谢 Yes. Yes, Finch. Thank you.
我真的仔细想过很长时间 I had actually been trying to figure it out for a while.
什么是合适的时候?存在吗? You know, when is the right time? Is there a right time?
最后我才明白 如果你喜欢这个女孩 就跟她结婚 And finally I realized, duh, you love the girl, marry her.
喔 Aw.
我们跳个舞吧 跳舞? Oh! Let's dance. Dance?
不 来吧 你总得学 No. No, you have to learn sometime.
快来 Come on!
别笑话我 Don't laugh at me.
好的 好 Okay, okay.
我真高兴 要结婚的不是我 I'm just glad that's not me.
芬奇 你认为有那个你会用一生陪伴的女孩吗? Finch, you don't think there's one girl you're destined to spend your entire life with?
她们都是 凯文 They're all for me, Kevin.
我还不差吧? 恩 Not, uh... Not so bad, huh? All right.
这样... Do this.
对不起 I'm sorry.
这个婚礼肯定非常有趣 Well, the wedding should be rather entertaining.
布罗 就这些? Bro, that's it?
根本没有蛋糕 There's no keg anywhere.
吉姆 嗨 约翰 Jim. Hey, John.
吃的 喝的都这么差劲儿 The food and the drink are really bad.
是"赠送"的意思 "F" for presentation.
好消息 什么? The good news for you... What's that?
我们将在婚礼上当招待 We're gonna be ushers at the wedding.
实在是太好了 This is amazing.
这里一半的人我都不认识 I don't recognize half the people in this place.
至少他们肯定会带礼物来 At least they all brought gifts.
你好 你好 我是玛丽 弗莱赫缇 Hello. Hello. I'm Mary Flaherty.
噢 你好 我是哈若德 弗莱赫缇 Oh, hello. Harold Flaherty.
请进 非常高兴见到你们 Please, please come in. Lovely to meet you.
我们正在等候你们 旅途如何? We've been expecting you. How was your trip?
- 很不错 - 因为将参加婚礼感到高兴吧? - Delightful. - Who's excited about the wedding?
非常希望参加 Anxious might be more accurate.
噢 我们还没见过你儿子 Oh, w-w-we've never met your son.
一会儿你就会见到他了 You'll get to meet him.
你还会看到鲁迪和山姆 噢 好的 Rudy and Sam would like to meet him too. Oh, yes.
最好带他们进来 他们还在车里 Better bring them in from the car. They've been cooped up.
噢 太好了 你还带你们的儿子来了? Oh, for heaven sakes. You brought your sons?
是我们的狗 我们每次旅行都带着他们 Our dogs. We never travel without them.
噢 我的天 亲爱的... Oh, my goodness. Well, honey,
去把他们放出来 然后我们喝点鸡尾酒 好吗? why don't you go get those critters out of the car and we'll start on some cocktails?
谢谢 好吧 这就去 Ah, thank you. Right. I'll, uh, get the dogs.
有一点可以让婚礼更完美 There's one thing that'll make this wedding perfect.
不让史勒参加 No Stifler.
我们没有邀请这个家伙 Well, that's one dick we are not inviting.
- 不许 - 不想 - Motion seconded. - Motion carried.
芬奇 你对纽约大学的文凭有何打算? So, Finch, what are you gonna do with that fancy NYU diploma?
我要把它框起来 永远记住它 I'll frame it. Then I'll write my memoirs.
你应该去学法律 伙计 你知道我会开公司的 Well, you should come to law school, man. You know I could use the company.
孩子们 蜜雪儿的父母到了 快点 在等你们 Kids, Michelle's parents are here. Come on. We're waiting.
到处都是面包渣 糟糕 好 没什么 Oh, crumbs on the shirt. That's bad. Okay. That's fine.
我去换一件 I'll change. I'll change.
傻子们 Fuckers.
我这么帅 怎么会愁没有漂亮妹妹泡 Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milk shake.
有问题? What's up?
很好 That's right.
噢 蛋糕? 希望好吃 Oh, cake, huh? Hope it's good.
吉姆 非常感谢邀请我来参加这个毕业派对 傻瓜 Oh, gee. Thanks for inviting me to the graduation party, fucker.
真他妈的对 小子 蛋糕真好吃 Oh. Fuckin' right, doggy! That's good cake!
狗屎 Holy shit!
嗨 你好吗?恭喜你 Hi. How are you? Congratulations.
嗨 Hey.
恭喜你 吉西姆 Congratulation, jism.
失陪一下 史勒 Excuse me. Stifler.
嗨 吉姆 史勒 Hey, Jim. Stifler.
- 你在这做什么? - 欢庆这该死的一天 臭嘴 - What are you doing here? - Happy fuck day, ass mouth.
把蛋糕放下 看看 这是我拼的 Put the cake down. Check it out. I made it myself.
- 太可爱了 - 我寄给你的邀请信怎么了?寄丢了 衰鬼? - That's very cute. - What happened to my invite? Got lost in the mail, fuckface?
我不想谈这个 安静 安静 I don't want to discuss this. Quiet! Oh, quiet yourself.
我想可以拼出... 认真点 伙计 当然 I think I can spell... Seriously, man. Seriously...
上帝! 该死的 史勒 Jesus! Damn it, Stifler.
吉姆 看看你都做了什么 我做了什么? Jim, Iook what you did. Look what I did?
看看这些狗屎 我现在该怎么办? Look at this shit. What am I supposed to do now?
这下你高兴了 伙计? 你怎么会在这儿? Are you happy now, man? Why are you here?
我的"小弟弟"看起来象个玉米面热狗 沾满了蛋糕 My dick looks like a corn dog. I got cake all over my balls.
吉姆 亲爱的 该死 Jim, honey. Shit.
弗莱赫缇夫妇在等你 亲爱的 他在楼上? The Flahertys are waiting. You think he's upstairs, honey?
吉姆 你完了 Oh, you're fucked now, Jim.
史勒 快点起来 Stifler, get up.
这只狗太棒了 我感觉这么爽不奇怪吧? This dog's great! Is it weird that it feels good?
好的 All right.
餐厅里怎么了? 我知道你会喜欢他的 What about the dining room? I know you'll just love him.
-天啊 史勒 -喔... - Jesus, Stifler. - Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- 住手 - 舔掉它 Stop enjoying it so much. - Lick it off!
喔... Whoo-hoo-hoo.!
杂种 Son of a... You little shit.
- 你得脱掉你的裤子 伙计 - You gotta take your pants off, man.
-吉姆 -不 这跟你们看见的不是一回事 - Jim. - No, it's not what it looks like.
- 你们在干什么?吉姆 - 我的狗 - What are you doing, son? Jim. - My dogs!
- 不要这样 他们对你做了些什么 - 我喜欢这只狗 - Don't go in there. Lord knows what they'll do to you. - I love this dog!
- 我...我只想赶走它 爸爸 - 这个就是你儿子? - I-I-I was just trying to get him off, Dad. - That is your son?
离狗远点 Back away from the animal.
嗨 真棒的派对 噢 弗莱赫缇先生 弗莱赫缇女士 Hey, great party. Uh, Mr. And Mrs. Flaherty, I presume.
你去哪? Hey, where are you going?
午饭准备好了... Well, uh, Iunch is, uh, served.
我希望我们可以... L-I really hope that, uh... that-that we can just...
忘掉刚才那些... that we can all just forget about this and-and-and move on...
重新开始... and start again... start again fresh.
吉姆 如果你做个象样的老公 Jim, if you hope to be the provider and protector for our firstborn daughter,
你还有很长的路要走 you have a long way to go.
谢谢你 先生 Thank you, sir.
他们认为你是个天使... They think you're an angel...
而我...只是个不争气的强奸狗的笨蛋 and-and I'm... I'm just some ungrateful dog-rapist.
他们只是想...把一个小女孩打扮得... They just think they raised a proper, Iittle band girl.
另外 保持传统一点会好一些 And-And besides, sometimes it's... it's nice to be a little more traditional.
如何做到?怎么才叫传统? 我说的是婚礼 How so? How-How do you mean traditional? I'm thinking about the wedding.
就是婚礼那一天 Well, it's just this one day.
能让所有人注意到我 One day where-where everyone's eyes are on me for a change.
我还从没有过那样的感觉 当走进一个房间时... I've just never walked into a room and...
让所有人感觉到...噢... and had everyone go, "Ooh," and, "Ahh,"
她太完美了... and, "Isn't she elegant?"
这正是我们的婚礼要做到的 That is exactly how our wedding is going to be.
我保证 I promise.
该死的 我屁股都要裂开了 嗨 芬奇 Shit, I've got a frosted ass crack. Hey, Finch,
这个放在这儿还是拿走? you want this for here or to go?
"说的再动听也不能证明什么" 沃太尔的名言 "A witty saying proves nothing." Voltaire.
"为我吹喇叭" 伊昂 杰尔米的名言 "Suck my dick." Ron Jeremy.
孩子们 谁见到新娘的父母了? Oh, boys. Anybody seen the bride's parents?
没人看到? No? Hmm.
等等 Wait a second.
等等 史勒 Wait a second. Come on, Stifler.
这根本不是毕业派对 你该走了 This isn't a graduation party. Time to go.
等等 吉姆要结婚了 对吗? Wait. Hold on. Jim's getting married, isn't he?
真该死 这才是派对的主题 Holy fuckin' shit! This is major!
我们需要举办一个光棍派对 知道吗? Do you have the slightest idea of how important this is? We get to have a bachelor party.
对 是为吉姆光荣的牺牲而庆祝的派对 Yes! We celebrate the death of Jim with a party in his honor.
到处都是妹妹 Chicks and boobs. Tits and ass.
乳房 屁股... Titties, ta-tas, casabas, bazoongas all up in our friggin' faces!
伙计们 想想这些 多刺激 Buck up, fellas. Show some enthusiasm.
那将会真他妈的棒 噢 我的上帝 It's gonna be fuckin' great. Oh, my God!
芬奇 他说的对 Finch, he-he does make a good point.
是啊 真对 Yeah, he does.
我没这样说过 You never heard me say that.
我还从没对哪个女孩象现在这样渴望过 I do not deserve a girl this cool.
婚礼没什么问题吧? Michelle said the wedding was doable, right?
婚礼? 对 婚礼 A wedding. A wedding, yeah.
我答应过她 婚礼将会象她梦想的那样 You know, I promised her her wedding... you know, the wedding of her dreams.
好 有什么问题? Okay. What's the problem?
跳舞 她想在婚礼上与我跳第一支舞 Dancing. Uh, she wants... she's gonna want to dance.
你知道 这是个传统 You know, there's that whole tradition: The first dance at the reception.
她想和象史勒那样会跳的人一起跳 She's gonna wanna dance Fred Astaire kind of shit.
可我做不到 我不会 她是在乐队训练营里学的 I can't do that. I can't... She learned all that from band camp.
你得马上学 Okay, so you take lessons, you know, right away.
学? 好的 我得证明给他父母 我不是个猪头 Lessons. Okay. I have to convince her parents that I'm not a shithead.
这是个挑战 Challenging. Indeed, challenging.
但是可以实现 还有什么别的问题? But doable. What else?
别的?我也不知还有什么别的 What else? I don't know what else.
只有这个 她总关心这个 That's the thing. She cares too much to tell me.
但她不想让我觉得她很在意这个 She doesn't want me to worry that she might be worried.
但我很在意 So I'm worried.
知道了 Recon.
你的意思是说... 在暗中监视蜜雪儿? You mean, Iike-like spying on, uh... like spying on Michelle?
监视是种欺骗 Spying is deceitful.
更多的注意才表示你真正的关心她 Extra attention means you're concerned.
这也对 很好 兄弟们 我们的下一步该这样... This is... This is true. This is good. Guys, here's to the next step.
别提你的下一步 把你的杯子放下来 Would you please shut up with that stepping? Put your glass down.
肯定会有更好的地方 我们继续找 We'll find a wonderful place somewhere. I promise. We'll keep looking.
没什么问题吧? 天气可能会变凉 Is everything okay in here? The study can get a little chilly.
你的毯子够暖吗? 我们很好 谢谢了 Do you have enough blankets? We're fine. Thank you.
我想... L-I was kind of hoping that, uh...
我们过几天可以抽空闲聊几句 that someday soon we could have a little talk.
我很想让你们知道 为什么我能做一个好丈夫 I'd really like to tell you why I think I'll make a good husband.
当你得到一个机会时 Whenever you get a chance.
哦 为什么? 说吧 Oh, why is that? Come on.
我是说...我们以后会谈这个的 See, I was saying that soon... we could talk.
现在我们只是初步的谈一下 This... This right now is-is sort of the preliminary talk...
将来我们会详谈 before the future... longer talk,
在我们一起吃晚饭的时候 which would be like a... a quiet, uh, private dinner talk.
让他说完 Let him finish.
我在和你说话 I'm talking to you.
- 嘘... - 好 - Shh. - Okay.
很高兴能跟你们聊天 Good talking to you.
不 这不会有用 No. No, these aren't gonna work.
喔... Wow.
你们也来运动品商店 非常好 You guys in a sporting goods store. Very good.
嗨 芬奇 我想这个适合你 Hey, Finch, I think they got your size.
真漂亮 Aw, beautiful.
吉姆需要为他的婚礼学跳舞 Jim needs to learn to dance for his wedding.
我认为他昏头了 You know, I think he's screwed.
他当然是昏头了 他正准备结婚 Of course he's screwed. He's getting married.
我真想快点看看这出闹剧 I can't wait to see this disaster.
你以为你会被邀请? What makes you think you're invited?
当然了 我给吉姆的妈妈打过电话 I already called up Jim's mom, got the info.
我正在做准备 I'm preparing for the festivities.
这正是和女伴娘们做爱的好机会 笨蛋 It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker.
我将亮出我的"王牌" 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out.
带着我的"小弟弟"一起摇滚 And I'm gonna rock out with my cock out!
哈哈 对极了 这正是我想说的 Ooh, yep, that's what I'm talking about.
史勒 All right, Stifler. Um,
有点难以开口 this-this is a little, uh, difficult to explain.
你...你还好吧? Look, you're... you're okay.
我的意思是...你人不错 我很喜欢你 You're okay. L-l-I mean, uh... I mean, I like you.
耶 太好了 你可以在训练完以后为我"吹喇叭" Yeah, great. You can blow me after practice.
我在忙 公子哥儿 好吧...公子哥儿... I'm working, dude. Well, dude...
- 快点 使劲 - Come on. Work it! Hustle!
我妈妈不知道这是个误会 推啊 使劲 See, my mom didn't know that there was a misunderstanding. Push it! Move it!
- 你没被邀请 - 停 - You're not invited! - Hold!
公子哥儿 你他妈的怎么想要结婚的? Dude, how the hell do you even think you're getting married?
在高中时我观察过你的性生活 你观察什么? I've been looking out for your sex life since high school. You what?
噢... Ohhhh! Ohh!
这个家伙第一次看到妹妹的乳房 The first tits this guy ever saw...
是我带他去的 were because of me.
第一次做爱 The first girl he ever hooked up with...
是在我家的派对上 was at my party at my cottage.
就是和现在要跟他结婚的那个 That girl is the girl he's marrying.
是伟大的史勒给他引路 The Stif-man showed him the way.
- 我是不是"救世主"? - "救世主" 史勒 - Can I get a "Hallelujah"? - Hallelujah, Stifler!
但是 兄弟们 But, my fuckers,
这个傻瓜不想让伟大的史勒 this mofo right here does not want the Stif-meister,
参加他婚礼 the grand, fucking facilitator to attend the wedding.
谁为驴"吹喇叭"? 吉姆 Who sucks donkey dick? Jim sucks donkey dick!
吉姆和驴"吹喇叭" 答案是不会 行了吧?对不起啦 Jim sucks donkey dick! The answer's no. Okay? I'm sorry.
答案是不会 我会跳舞 The answer's no. I can dance.
什么? 我会跳舞 What? I can dance.
吉姆和驴"吹喇叭" Jim sucks donkey dick! Jim sucks donkey dick!
五 六 七 八 Five, six, seven, eight.
好 现在怎么做?是该这样? Okay. Now-Now what exactly is this here?
向左转 向左转 Left box turn. Left box turn.
嘿 别盯着我的眼睛 对不起 Hi. Stop looking into my eyes. Sorry. Sorry.
你是怎么学会的? How do you... How do you know how to do this?
我妈妈逼我学了三年 啊? My mom made me take it for three fucking years. Yeah?
是啊 我讨厌跳舞 不是啊 你跳的很好 Yeah, I hated it. No, you're really good.
哦 你应该去跳芭蕾舞或者其它什么的... Uh, you should take ballet or something.
衰鬼 让跳舞去"亲我的屁股" 你他妈的明白没有? Fuckface! What part of "This sucks my ass" do you not under-fuckin'-stand?
这正是我想说的 斯迪佛 你的行为不能这样 This is exactly what I'm talking about, Steven. You can't behave like this.
我...如果你想来参加婚礼 对不起 你不能象现在这样 L-l-lf you want to come to the wedding, I'm sorry, you cannot act like this.
你认为我很没礼貌 还是...? Are you saying I'm impolite or something?
没礼貌可以纠正 Impolite would be an improvement. Look,
就是要假装正经一些...你知道的... just... just try not to be, uh, you know, uh,
你 you.
都是狗屁 根本不值得这样做 Fuck this shit. It's not worth it.
等等 史勒 等一下 Hey, wait, Stifler. Stifler, hold on.
等等 好了 准备开个光棍派对如何? Wait. Okay. Wh-What if, uh... What if you, uh, plan the bachelor party?
裸体表演那种? 当然了 With a dildo show? Sure.
恩...如果你有空 就准备一下 Look. Just... If you can find the time, uh, to fit it in,
你先准备 给我个惊喜 go ahead, surprise me.
对不起 队长 耽搁你一下 Sorry, chief. That only gets you halfway there.
为什么? 你想干什么 Why? Why ha... What do you mean?
我想在这次婚礼上表现得好些 I need assurances that I'm gonna get some quality action at this wedding.
对不起 我帮不了你 我不能向你保证 I'm sor... I can't... I can't make that promise.
好吧 给你个提示 吉姆 Well, Iet me put it to you this way, Jimbo.
远离女孩 不要跳舞 好吗? No pussy, no dancing. Okay?
没有女孩 不要跳舞?这怎么叫礼貌? No pussy, no dancing. How's that for polite?
吉姆 你猜的对 Jim, your suspicions are confirmed.
蜜雪儿喜欢的婚纱找不到 Michelle wants a dress that she can't get.
她喜欢艾母塞尔牌的 只有在芝加哥才有分店 The dress she wants is Amsale. They have a store in Chicago.
如果我们现在出发 Now, if we leave right now,
我们可以赶在他们关门前买到 开车三 四个小时左右 we can get there by the time they close... a three-hour drive.
三 四个小时?真他妈远 A three-hour drive? Kick fuckin'ass.
我们要去芝加哥找漂亮妹妹? Are we going to Chicago to see titties?
我们去买蜜雪儿喜欢的婚纱 We are talking about getting Michelle a dress in Chicago.
现在 请你 消失... Now, please, vanish.
嗨 芬奇 泰国的首都叫什么? Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand?
曼谷 Bangkok!
公子哥儿... 嗨 我有鸟枪 Dude... Hey, I got shotgun.
我们去找这个该死的婚纱吧 Let's get this dress shit over with.
七点前到地方可以得到免费热鸡翅 The strip bar has got free hot wings before 7:00.
吉姆 让我来 Now, Jim, Iet me handle this.
这些人都跟我一样 他们是同性恋? These are my people. They're gay?
不是 你是个超级大傻瓜 他们有自己品味 他们有教养 No, you bleeding imbecile. They have style. They're cultured.
- 他们是久经世故的人 - 所以他们是同性恋 - They're sophisticated. - So they're gay.
小姐 你会鉴别... So, mademoiselle, I'm sure that you can appreciate...
那个挂在希拉和卡律布迪斯中间的绅士装 that monsieur here is stuck right between Scylla and Charybdis.
恐怕这不是尤利塞斯式的 Yes, I'm afraid he's no Ulysses.
- 好 这里怎么了? - 你得跟我的服装设计师谈 - Okay, what's happening here? - You need to speak to my dressmaker.
就是做这个衣服的人 恐怕莱斯利今天没有来 That's who would actually make the dress. And I'm afraid Leslie has gone for the day.
好吧 她也许会去这个镇的某个酒吧 All right. She-She said she'd probably be at one of these bars here on Halstead.
我建议我们分头去找这个人 I say we split up and ask around for a Leslie Summers.
好 Right.
嗨 朋友 小甜妹 Hey there, sweet little thing.
嗨 朋友 小帅哥 Hey there, you sweet manly thing.
我很喜欢你的衬衫 我认识你? You know, I really love your shirt. Do I know you?
我叫詹尼弗 詹尼弗... I'm Jennifer. Well, Jennifer,
别紧张 慢慢... just relax, take it slow...
进入快乐时光 and let the good times roll.
因为爸爸经常在这耍 你想喝什么吗? 'Cause Daddy's a regular here. Do you want to get a drink?
你说的真他妈的对 我想喝 You're goddamn right I do. Whoo-hoo!
两杯冻饮料 Whoo. Two cold ones.
嗨 我走开一会 你在这等我? Hey, you know, my friend would really dig your vibe. Will you wait here?
当然了 宝贝 好的 Sure thing, babe. Good.
没问题 All right.
觉得如何 性感? 非常辣 How you feeling, sexy? Pretty good.
哇 你都开始喘粗气了 Whoa. You have a deep voice.
还不至于 That's not all.
噢 好极了 Oh, right.
你今晚真迷人 谢谢 You look really cute tonight. Thanks.
我猜... I guess. What the...
嗨 玩得高兴 Oh, hey. Gettin' a little frisky.
别玩了 Oh. Game over.
这到底怎么了? What's happening here?
谁运气好吗? Hey. Any luck?
- 都不太好 - 没关系 我们... - Not so much. - All right. Let's, uh...
他叫"灰熊" This is Bear.
嗨 哇 你是只熊 Hey. Wow. You are a bear.
对 Yeah.
你有多高? How much you bench?
- 你有多重? - 干什么 - How much you weigh? - Why?
你想把我举起来? You wanna try and pick me up?
是啊 我想没问题 Yeah, I think I could.
对 你肯定行 你是个大个子 Yeah, I bet you could. You are big.
我想找个象你这样的大个子入队 I could use a guy like you on my team.
你是说我们的"队"?还是真正的球队? Are you... Are you talking about our team or an actual team?
"我们的队"是他妈的什么意思? What the hell is "our team"?
那个女孩去哪了? Hi. Where's the girl?
我们在谈什么鬼东西? What the fuck are we talking about?
你该到看看四周 You need to take another look around.
- 嗨 亲爱的 - 天啊 这到底是在干什么? - Hey, honey.! - Oh, my God. What the fuck is going on?
- 快 你就这点能耐 - Come on. Is that all you got?
娘娘腔 Pussy!
我...我想我来错地方了 史勒 I, uh... I must have came to the wrong place. Stifler.
史勒 噢 伙计 Stifler. Oh, man.
嗨 很高兴见到你 Hey. Oh, it's so good to see you.
我... 你是怎么鼓起勇气来进这个同性恋酒吧找人的? L... How did you get up the nerve to check out a gay bar?
我现在不想谈这些 我只想回家 Yeah. Really don't wanna talk about it right now. I just wanna go home.
- 你朋友刚走 - 靠 - Your friend here was just leaving. - Eat shit.
伙计 找到莱斯利了吗?那个蠢服装设计师 Did you find Leslie? Fuck your stupid dressmaker, man.
- 你们有人认识莱斯利 莎默的吗? - 我们在找她 - You guys know Leslie Summers? - Uh, we're trying to find her.
你知道吗? 你们不太走运 你们怎么不回家? You know what? I think you guys are out of luck. Why don't you go home?
不 你知道莱斯利 他知道莱斯利... No. Y-You know Leslie... He knows Leslie S... Okay, Iook.
听我说...我和我的朋友们刚刚开车从密歇根来... My friends and I just drove all the way from Michigan...
来找我未婚妻喜欢的婚纱 to find my fiancee the wedding dress that she deserves.
我们需要莱斯利做 你能告诉我们该怎么找到她吗? Now, we need Leslie to make it for us. Can-Can you please help us find her?
我知道莱斯利经常帮助那些混蛋 I'm sure Leslie always helps associates of assholes.
你在看什么? 我不是一块牛排 What are you looking at? I'm not a steak.
听着 小子 不是每个同性恋都想跟你做爱 Listen, breeder, not every gay man wants to have sex with you.
噢 是吗? 听着 变态佬 Oh, yeah? Listen up, ass jockey.
如果我是同性恋 你肯定喜欢跟我做爱 没错 If I were gay, you'd want me. Really.
没错 我有自己的品味... Really. I got style.
我有教养 我是久经世故的人... I'm cultured. I'm sophisticated.
这些都从你如此性感的身上散发出来... And all that just radiates from your oh, so sexy self.
胡扯 That's bullshit.
大家都想跟我做爱... Everyone wants a piece of the Stif-meister.
对极了 Right! Yeah!
没错 Without a doubt!
- 我会表演给你们看 笨蛋们 - 再见 - I'll show you fuckers. - Bye.
大家一起说: "再...见" Everybody say, "Bye. '"Bye.
再见 Bye.
祝你好运能找到你的婚纱 Bye. Good luck with the dress.
给我们一杯饮料 Give us a drink.
我的天 Mother of God.
婊子 Bitch!
唔呼 呼 Whoo-hoo.!
这算什么?脱衣舞? What is this, a dance-off?
噢 是吗? Oh, yeah?
来啊 大个子 Go, big boy.!
我爱你 I love you!
什么? What?
太妙了 没有比这个再好看的了 Fabulous. Seeing that was worth anything.
我是莱斯利 莎默 你找到你想要的婚纱了 Look, I'm Leslie Summers, and you've got yourself a dress.
谢谢 噢 天啊 Thank you. Oh, my God. Thank you.
谢谢 实在太感谢了 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
好 搞定了 嗨 你朋友叫什么 凯文 Yeah, no problem. Hey, who's your friend? Uh, K-Kevin.
今晚最开心了吧?史勒 Was that the best night ever or what? Stifler,
你...你不是在耍我吧? 简直不可思议了 are you... are you kidding me? It was amazing.
嗨 伙计们 嗨 Hey, guys! Hey, hey.
嗨 等你开光棍派对时 我带几个姑娘去你那儿玩 Hey, when you get your bachelor party together, I manage some girls in town.
真正的姑娘 没问题 Real ones. All right.
给我打电话 史勒 你的很多动作都性感极了 Call me. Damn, Stiffy, you got some moves.
我告诉过你 那个家伙想和我做爱 Told you that guy wanted to fuck me.
简直不敢相信 他们真会给我做婚纱? I can't believe this. They're really gonna make the dress for me?
他们等你的电话呢? 你先走吧 太酷了 They are expecting your call. Go ahead. This is so cool. Oh.
我爱你 I love you.
谢谢 Thank you.
好了 解决了 Well, that worked out.
恩...也许到了你说的那个晚餐详谈时间了 Well, maybe it's time we have that special dinner chat.
我要吃火鸡 I'll have turkey.
谢谢你来帮忙 Thanks for helping out.
婚礼的时间快到了 我们还有很多事情要做 We're so close, and there's still so much to do.
凯登丝! Cadence!
嗨 嗨 Hey. Hi.
凯登丝 他是保罗芬奇 芬奇 这个是我妹妹凯登丝 Cadence, this is Paul Finch. Finch, meet my younger sister, Cadence.
很高兴认识你 你在读笛卡尔的书? Nice to meet you. You're reading Descartes.
是啊 Yep.
伏尔泰的名言: 我梦想 因此我就是 Cogito ergo sum. "I think, therefore I am."
饥渴... Hungry.
马克什么时候来? So, when's Mark getting in?
我想...他应该是不会来了吧 Uh, Iet's see, that would be never.
你们分手了? 真惨 Did you guys break up? How tragic.
噢 对不起 保罗芬奇 这是女人之间的事 Uh, sorry, Paul Finch. Girl stuff.
冷静些 我是单身 她也是 这样很好 Just stay calm. I'm available, she's available. It's all good.
她是个靓女 你也不差 She's a beautiful girl, and you're you.
我甩了他 I dumped him.
我以为你会喜欢马克 他人不错呀 But it was Mark. I thought you really liked him. He was nice.
恩 但有时人太好并不都是优点 Yeah, but sometimes nice isn't so nice.
等一下 让我先弄清楚这句话 W-Wait. Hold on. Let me get this straight.
他不想和我做爱 他不想破坏我们目前的关系... He didn't want to do it. He said he didn't want to ruin what we had...
通过"摧残"我们自己的方式 by deflowering ourselves.
谁会用"摧残"这个词? Who the hell uses the word deflower?
好象妈妈这样说过 是的 That's like something Mom would say. Yeah.
我开始渐渐明白妈妈和爸爸的想法 And I'm starting to realize that Mom and Dad's idea of appropriate behaviour...
可能会跟我的有点不同 might be a little bit different than mine.
蜜雪儿 你在热恋中 嘘... Mitch, you're in love. Shh.
你就要结婚了 跟他做爱感觉象什么? You're getting married. I mean, what's this like?
感觉象...我无法形容 It's like it's... I'm never gonna be able to explain it.
我以为会遵守我们以前订的婚姻誓约 但现在我做不到了 I wanted us to write our own vows for the wedding, and now I can't do mine.
你认为什么叫"爱" L... How do you explain love?
我想想...我也不知道 Uh, I-I guess I wouldn't know.
我想我还不了解男孩的想法 I don't think I've ever felt that way about a guy.
噢 也许有一天你会了解 也许... Oh, someday you will. Maybe.
我想这个周末找个"小地痞"玩 也不会怎么样 But in the meantime, I don't think it would hurt to get a little rowdy this weekend.
在吉姆的朋友里找 怎么样? 好 Jim's got single friends, right? Yes.
- 芬奇如何? - 噢 可以泡他 - Think Finch is a possibility? - Oh, Finch is boneable.
是可以泡他 Yes, he is boneable.
白痴 不要再写这样的狗屎信到我的办公室 Dickhead. You do not send shit to my office at school.
嗨 史勒 怎么不进来?进来谈会舒服些 Hey, Stifler. Why don't you come in and make yourself comfortable?
马绍尔教练对你的信的印象很深 Your letter made a great impression on Coach Marshall when he read it.
让我给你读一下 伙计 "亲爱的史蒂夫" Let me just refresh your memory, partner. "Dear Steve,
若你肯教我你在同性恋酒吧里跳的舞 我会永远感激你 I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar."
这是我深思熟虑的想法 I put serious thought into that letter.
别逼我 我要受不了了 "Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge.
我只保住我的脑袋 啊哈 I'm trying not to lose my head." Uh-huh.
嗯嗯 Uh-huh.
真好看 我是指...这件女伴娘的衣服 These are really nice. I mean, for a bridesmaid dress.
- 你还有机会穿 - 还有机会 - At least something you can actually wear again. - Wear again.
你认为这个不够性感? But you don't think it's too sexy, do you?
我是说...我不想做个荡妇... 只想引起男孩的注意 I mean, I don't want to seem slutty or anything. I'm trying to attract a decent guy here.
那是婚礼呀 他们都会很象样 It's a wedding. They'll all be decent guys.
我只是不想在里面被人感觉象个处女 I just don't feel quite like a virgin in it.
噢 Oh!
你们肯定是很骄傲地完成了大学学业吧 So, you guys have to be psyched to be done with college.
我发誓...我已经忘记所有的课程了 I mean, I swear, I'm running out of room in my brain for everything.
除了柏拉图和亚里士多德 There's always room for Plato and Aristotle.
这些是我最喜欢的 Some of my favourites.
失陪一下 Excuse me, guys.
芬奇 她认为你很差 Finch, she thinks you were being sarcastic.
好 很高兴见到你 Okay. It's so good to see you.
需要帮忙吗? 让我扶你走过来 You want some help? Here. Let me... Let me help you out there.
好了 为战斗而战斗 长官 There you go. Okay. You keep fighting the good fight, sir.
太好了 It's great.
你真是个好心人 That was really sweet of you.
是的 我喜欢老人 Yeah. I love old people.
我讨厌那些没礼貌的 喜欢吵闹的家伙 Hey, I hate to be nosy and impolite, but, um,
你认识吉姆 莱文斯汀和蜜雪儿 弗莱赫缇吗? 认识啊 do you know Jim Levenstein and Michelle Flaherty? Yeah.
他们也在这? 我叫凯登丝 是蜜雪儿的妹妹 Are they here? Well, I'm Cadence, Michelle's sister.
我不知道她有个你这样的妹妹 我是他们的好朋友 我叫史蒂文 I had no idea. I'm their good friend Steven.
很高兴认识你 我也是 Well, it's nice to meet you. Yeah, you too.
他们进城里准备结婚用的东西去了 这么好啊 Well, they're around town doing some wedding stuff. That's cool.
如果你也想去 我们还有空余的房间 But there's still a few of us in the other room if you want to join us.
我不知道 你看起来这么漂亮 我穿的太糟蹋了 I don't know. I mean, you look so nice, I feel underdressed.
我认为你看起来很不错 谢谢 Well, I think you look great. Thank you.
噢 他们来了 嗨 小伙子们 不用起来了 Oh, here they are. Hi, boys. Don't stand up.
- 父亲们还没到? - 我去找他们 - The dads aren't here yet? - I'll go find him.
你们之中 谁最出色? Now, which one of you is the best man?
吉姆说分辨不出...他也不能肯定 Jim didn't pick just one. Or I mean, he-he couldn't decide.
- 嗨 保罗 嗨 凯文 - 妈妈 我想向你介绍史蒂文 - Hey, Paul. Hey, Kevin. - Mom, I want you to meet Steven.
他是吉姆的朋友 也是我的 噢 也是大家的 He's friends of Jim's and mine and, oh, everyone's.
你看起来很眼熟 史蒂文 You look very familiar, Steven.
是吗?我想我们以前没见过吧 哦 Really? Oh, I'm afraid we've never met. Oh.
这回我们就见过了 Oh. Well, we have now.
女孩儿们都喜欢这个牌子 Oh, Iooks like you found Samantha's Sweets.
他们的巧克力是不是非常好吃? Oh, yes. Isn't their chocolate just to die for?
- 噢 好吃的你都想象不到 - 我知道 - Oh, well, you have no idea. - Actually, I do.
"我爱巧克力 比生命还重要" I love chocolate more than life itself. More than life itself.
对 我正想说... Yes.! I was just saying to your friends that...
我这儿有个非常贵重的东西 I have something very precious here.
是什么? What is it?
蜜雪儿的姥姥留下的...订婚戒指 Michelle's grandmother's... my mother's... wedding ring.
是不是很贵重? Isn't that precious?
但是因为你们各个都非常出色 But since all of you are the best man,
我不知道该让谁保管它 I don't know who should ho-hold onto it.
- 我想 我最适合... - 噢... - I think it's best if l... - Oh, um...
我认为你应该先慢慢了解我们 然后再做决定 I think you should get to know us first and then decide.
你可真有风度 史蒂文 You are such a gentleman, Steve.
我一直想听这句话 可还从没人对我说过 I hear that all the time, but it never gets old. Aw.
嘿 保罗 你带照相机了吗? Hey, Paul, uh, do you have a camera?
你想得可真周到 How thoughtful.
我肯定是把照相机忘在家里了 史蒂文 I must have forgotten my camera at home, Steven.
噢 也许你可以拍一个记忆照 Oh, m-maybe you could take, Iike, a mental note.
- 我会记住这一刻 - I won't forget this moment.
你肯定会的 你愿意参加吗? I bet you won't. Would you care to join us?
我非常愿意 谢谢 跟我来 I would love to. Thank you. Well, come on.
很高兴见到你们 谢谢 Lovely to see you fellas. Thank you.
噢 太棒了 Oh, amazing.
他到底想对我的花做什么? What the hell is he doing near my flowers?
我爱郁金香 尤其是... I love the way the tulips accentuate the, um...
- 你叫它们什么来着 先生? - 大洋桔梗 - What do you call those again, sir? - Double Lisianthus.
洋桔梗 大洋桔梗 Lisianthus. Double "Lisianthums."
名字真好听 What a pretty name.
我告诉过他要装得礼貌些 不然 他不能参加我们的婚礼 I told him to be nice, or-or he couldn't come to the wedding.
我会处理 嘿 吉姆 I will take care of this. I will take care of this. Hey. Hey, James.
噢 太好了 快过来 Oh, great. Come on over. Oh, great. Come on over.
来看看我忘记了什么没有? 我想没有 噢... See if I forgot anything. I don't think... Oh. Oh, oh.
我们玩得很开心 我看到了 We're having a great time. I think I've got it all.
噢 看啊... Oh, Iook, Iook, Iook, Iook.
撒哈拉沙漠玫瑰... Sahara and Desert Rose...
是给你的女伴娘拿的花 for your bridesmaids' bouquet.
噢 给我看看 闻闻它... Oh, give me that. Smell this.
太妙了 妙极了 It's fantastic. Fantastic.
哦 哦 哦 And oh... Oh. Oh!
哦 哦 哦 Oh oh oh!
快看这个 Look at this.
噢 小伙子 我们一起去看蜡烛台 亲爱的 Oh, boy. Let's go look at the candelabrum, honey.
摆上这些盛开的花 恩... I think with the Summer Blossoms. Mm-hmm.
小美人 感谢这里的一切 Cutie. Thank you for everything.
姑娘们 你们怎么看?可爱吗? 再见了 凯登丝 What do you think, girls? Isn't this adorable? Bye, Cadence.
好 我知道你想干什么 你知不知道自己在干什么? Okay, I know... I know what you're doing. Look. Have you seen yourself?
我不敢相信你会这样做 别紧张 冷静些 公子哥儿... I can't believe you're doing this. Just calm down, dude.
这都是安排好的 什么安排好的? It's all set. What's set?
我会教你跳舞 象巴雷什尼科夫那样 I'm gonna teach you to dance like a "Baryshiniankov."
噢 不错 他很棒 Oh, yeah. He is pretty good.
吉姆 他没怀好意 他是想泡凯登丝 Jim, he's not doing it to be nice. He's doing it to bone Cadence.
也许我们可以给他次机会 我想... Look, maybe we should give him a chance. You know, I think... I think...
虽然他满脑子都是做爱 狗屎 "吹喇叭"之类下流的东西 that underneath all the fucks and shits and blow mes,
但他还是个非常敏感的人 渴望别人能接受他 there's a very sensitive person who is just thirsty for acceptance.
我是这样认为的... That's-That's what I think.
噢 吉姆 你必须打消这个念头 它会侵蚀你的思维 Oh, Jim, you've gotta stop masturbating. It's melting your brain.
仔细看看这个该死的史勒 Observe the fuckin' Stif-meister.
看看他都有什么样的恶习? What is his defining characteristic?
他最喜欢说脏话 He uses the F-word excessively.
谢谢了 伙计 Thanks, man.
但我还是有信心 你是一个软绵绵的家伙 But I also have confidence. You're one big floppy cock.
看看你自己 你应该站得象个男人 Look at you. You've gotta stand like a man.
你的姿势告诉我你的舞伴要往哪边转 Your posture tells your partner where to go.
好 好 行了吧? Okay. Okay. Okay?
跟着我跳 Follow my lead.
这叫华尔兹 华尔兹 好 This is the waltz. Waltz. Okay.
华尔兹 好 Waltz. Okay.
不错吧 你说的真他妈的对 非常好 That's pretty good. You're fuckin' right it's good.
这次婚礼我可救了你一命 I'm gonna save your ass in this wedding.
过不了几天你就该让我帮你手淫了 Pretty soon you're gonna want me to shave your balls.
我该手淫?你手淫吗?怎么做的? Should I shave my balls? Do you shave your balls? How do you do it?
公子哥儿 我不手淫 Dude, no.
我只是... L... l... I'm just...
刮一刮... Shaving.
这个地方很独特 You know, there's nothing like a local pub.
恩 这才是真正的美国 Mm-hmm. It's like real America...
"万事不要太相似 太和谐" 和谐有什么不好吗? without all that corporateness and catchy jingles. Well, what's wrong with a good jingle?
我想这是伏尔泰的名言 I think it was Voltaire who said,
"完美的和谐可以说明一切事物" "A jingle witty proves everything for my friends and I."
凯登丝 Cadence.
我不知道你也会在这儿 I didn't know you were gonna be here.
你刚刚漏过伏尔泰的名言 You're just in time for Voltaire's greatest hits.
伏尔泰? 史勒 请告诉我谁是伏尔泰? Voltaire? Stifler, please, who was Voltaire?
是个比你聪明百倍的人 芬奇 Someone much wiser than you, I'm afraid, Finch.
说实在的 我非常喜欢这些名言 Actually, I'm getting a little burned out on all the intellectual stuff.
是 你跟我一样 Yeah. Me too.
做一个智者很难 Being smart is so hard.
我以后会慢慢启发你 I'll give you some intelligence.
伏尔泰会为我"吹喇叭" Voltaire can suck on my balls.
什么... What?
这是后人得出来的结论 It's about time somebody finally came out and said it.
嗨 我该给你指引一条生存之道 Hey, I'm gonna give you a quote to live by.
"热爱生命 一份耕耘一份收获" "Love life, get paid and then get laid."
这是冯氏哲学 That is the basic philosophy of the Finch-meister.
我喜欢这句 I like that.
- 那当然 - 不知你觉得... - Bet you do. - But I don't know why you do...
因为冯氏哲学屁用没有 because Finch-meister doesn't make any friggin' sense.
- 有用 - 真他妈的对 - Sure, it does. - No fuckin' shit it does.
凯登丝 别理这个"小地痞" 我们走吧? Cadence, Iet's leave the "crayton" here, shall we?
随便 我靠 我这就走 Whatever. Fuck it. I'm walkin' anyway.
等等 我想我还是跟着冯氏哲学走 Wait. You know, actually, I think I'm gonna go stretch my legs with the Finch-meister.
- 你不会介意吧 史蒂文? - 不介意 - You don't mind, do you, Steven? - No.
哈哈 Ha!
真是头蠢驴 婊子... It's on like Donkey Kong, bi-i-itch.
换一张 笨蛋 Pack it up, bitch.
马上 谢谢 I'm on it. Thank you.
凯登丝跟你提过我吗? So, uh, Cadence say anything about me?
她把你和芬奇比较过 好象她都挺喜欢 Whatever you and Finch are pulling, she seems to like you both.
芬奇 明天晚上她会来这吗? Finch. Is she gonna be around tomorrow night?
不来 她和蜜雪儿要去芝加哥看婚纱 No, she's going up to Chicago with Michelle for the final dress fitting.
她父母呢?我想她妈妈喜欢我 What about her parents? I think her mom kind of likes me.
他们要和我父母去... They're going up north with, uh... with my parents...
取些东西 for, uh... you know, to get things, uh, ready for the rehearsal.
至于他们去哪儿取... So, uh... So that's where they'll be.
你就别瞎操心了 So don't bother looking for them or anything, you know.
不就是个婚礼吗 A wedding.
靠 你怎么就知道她最适合你? Shit. How do you know she's the right girl?
我当然知道 I just do.
和蜜雪儿在一起 我就象换了个人 不不...猪头 I'm a better person when I'm with Michelle. Nobody else can... No, no, no, shithead.
你三天两头就会换女朋友 You hooked up with one other girl for, what, 10 seconds.
刚才你看到娜迪雅时 眼睛都直了 足足十秒钟 瞎子都看得到 Not to mention you passed on Nadia. Dumbest fuckin' thing ever.
你就象是个"瞎子喜欢看黄书" You're like a blind man picking out his favourite porno.
这小子是疯了 This shit is crazy.
这只是婚前综合症 孩子 This is just the old pre-wedding jitters, son.
这可是一辈子的事... It's so forever, you know. It-It's, uh...
你知道 我只会和蜜雪儿... You know, Michelle is the only, uh,
长厢斯守 girl that I've... I've been with.
说老实话 你想不想和娜迪雅做爱? Honestly, now... Honestly, would you have passed up sex with Nadia?
怎么会?她跟你说过什么? Why? Did she say something?
我是说假设 爸爸 噢 假设 Hypothetically, Dad. Oh, hypothetically.
吉姆 我是个过来人 Well, I mean, you know, Jim, I'm a married man.
我是... 如果你还没结婚... I'm... If-lf-lf you weren't married.
她才十几岁 如果你也是十几岁 She's a college girl. If you were a college guy.
互相喜欢对方 噢 是... In a heartbeat. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
首先 你这样想是非常正常的生理反映 First of all, what-what you're feeling is so normal and perfectly natural.
婚姻不是动物之间繁殖和性交的游戏 Marriage is not about, uh, animal lusting and-and kinky sex games.
不同于象什么今晚张家的狗跟李家的猫交配了... It's not so much about who's the dog and who's the fire hydrant tonight.
婚姻的意义要比这些深奥的多得多... It's-It's deeper than that.
婚姻维持的越久... The longer a marriage lasts,
你走的路就会越长... uh, the longer you can go,
哦...不包括性行为... uh, without sex.
有时奇迹偶尔也会发生的... But when that magic night does happen, uh,
婚姻还有更高的含义 it's-it's all the more meaningful.
告诉你 好比你母亲 上帝保佑 And let me tell you, your mother, bless her,
还能让我兴奋得象猪一样尖叫... can still make me, uh, squeal like a pig.
我是指...那种美妙的感觉... 孩子 你明白我的意思吧 Uh, and I mean that in the good sense, son. Do you follow what I'm saying?
你知道我在说什么吗? 明白 我想... You understand where I'm going? I do. I, uh... I think I, uh...
你还需要什么帮助? 没什么了 Anything else you need? No. No, that's, uh...
只要我能帮得了 Anything I can do.
他不在家 把车子停在他看不到的地方 He's not here. Park the cars down there where he won't see them.
哇 真他妈的好 Hoo! Fuckin' right!
史勒 你喜欢我的裤子? 随你怎么说 只要妹妹正点就行 So, you like my pants, Stiffy? Whatever, dude. As long as the girls are worth it.
当然正点 如果再有些好酒 那就更爽了 They're worth it. Oh, and if you've got some good wine too, that'll score some points for you.
- 我想在地库里有 - 我去取 - We think there's some in the... in the basement. - I'll get it.
你肯定不想错过这次表演 You ain't gonna want to miss this.
先生们 Gentlemen.
先生们 很高兴能给大家介绍... Gentlemen, I would like to introduce...
克瑞斯托长官和芙兰琳女士 Officer Krystal und Frlein Brandi.
噢...我的天 Oh, my God.
噢...太好了 Oh.! Oh.! Oh.! Yeah.!
- 噢 天啊 - 你们也太糟蹋了 - Oh, my God! - You boys have been very messy.
哎哟 你看到我的屁股了 Whoops. Can you see my fanny?
哎呀 Whoops.
哦 Ohh!
喔 Whoo.!
哦 Oh!
你可真下流 You naughty girl.
没人会怀疑 None of that pleading the Fifth crap!
- 你们肯定不敢相信 - 啊...啊... - You boys are gonna talk. - Uh... Uh...
哇哦 Wow.!
噢 上帝 Oh, my God!
你只会站在那儿流口水? Are you just gonna stand there and drool?
- 还是参加光棍派对? - 靠 好极了 我们要光棍派对 - Or are we gonna have a bachelor party? - Fuck yeah, we are!
什么? 我听不到 Yeah? What? I can't hear you.
大点声 光棍派对 Louder! Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes. Bachelor party.
还是听不到 再大点声... Can't hear you. Louder! Louder!
插我的屁股吧 Stick a finger in my ass!
- 好怪啊 - 你等着瞧 - That's weird. - You just wait.
我们该等吉姆回来才开始 Look, maybe we should just wait for... Jim.
- 去他妈的吉姆 伙计 这是我们的派对 - 不管他 - Fuck Jim, man! This is for us. - Take her top off.
我女朋友定的规则: 只能看 不许摸 My girlfriend has strict rules about this. No touching.
你真是个笨蛋 What are you, a dancing clown?
别笑的那么淫荡 你这个小婊子 You wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, you punk-ass little bitch.
- 太酷了 - 喜欢吗? - This is awesome! Oh, you like that?
喜欢吧?有多喜欢? 笨蛋 You like it, huh? How much? Boob.
不 No! Hmph!
对不起 还没有 不过 你会喜欢的 I'm sorry. No, not yet. But you will be.
和我说的一样 爽吧 Like I said, this is awesome.
大家都知道克瑞斯托长官和我要这样... Hey, Iisten, I-l-l-I think we both know that Officer Krystal and me have this...
你知道... 嗯 You know. Yeah. Thing? Mm-hmm.
从没人这样拍过我的屁股 No one has ever slapped my ass like that.
也从没人这样使劲儿捏过我的乳头 No one's ever pinched my nipple with such ferocity.
我是个人体艺术家 l... I'm a master of the Tantric art.
我看着她完美的身体 L-I look at her body...
就会想到我能让她... and I just see the chakras and the things I can do to her and...
噢 Ohh!
你你真可爱 噢 谢谢 You. You look cute. L... Oh, thank you.
你也很可爱 Thank you, but you... you're the cute one.
史勒 这个多苗条 Stiffy! How slimming is this, huh?
这他妈的象谁?布法罗 比尔? What the fuck, Buffalo Bill?
这个粉色太重了? What, this... What, the pink too much?
你该把内裤穿在衣服外面 It puts the dress in the drawer and it does as it's told.
噢 公子哥儿 那可乱套了 Oh, dude. Now that's fucked up.
那可乱套了 That's fucked up.
你完全是个下流...下流痞子 And in closing, you have been a naughty, naughty girl.
你也下水了?布兰德 你他妈的也下水了? You been naughty, Brandi? You been fuckin' naughty?
爽 Fresh.
把她脱光 Take her top off!
你有没有洗干净?贱人 You didn't get to cleaning, Iittle bitch fucker? Huh? Ow!
想不想看我们接吻? Wanna see us kiss?
靠 不想看 不看 Fuck, no. No, no.
都是胡扯 None of that "you go, we go" bullshit.
做完了 很好 Already done that. Very good of you.
我以前也有过象你一样可爱的男朋友 哦 I used to have this pet bass. Oh.
他叫阿尼 非常可爱 His name was Arnie, and... Oh, he was so cute.
他也爱我 是吗 And he just loved me too. Yeah.
我就喜欢看我... 也许你也可以跳舞 He'd just look up at me... Maybe you could dance.
就象... And make this face like...
还是什么...我也不知道了 反正很棒 天啊 我想他 Or something like that. I don't know. It was great. God, I miss him, but...
有时 我看探索频道 ... Um, sometimes I watch the Discovery Channel, and...
我不关心这些... I don't care!
你能不能为我跳舞? Could you just dance for me, please?
别 这个... No, that's my favourite...
是我最喜欢的衣服 好吧 It was my favourite shirt. Uh, okay.
怎么了? Hey. What?
没什么 Nothin'.
疯狂的派对 是吧? It's a crazy party, huh?
不用管他 别理他 Don't worry about him. You don't worry about him.
他是个疯子 你也是疯子 知道吗? He's... He's a... He's a maniac. And you're a maniac, you know that?
史勒 为什么大家都在看我? Stifler, why in the world are you focused on me?
都奇怪你怎么没长乳头 I'm surprised to see you don't have tits.
这么干净 叫我怎么给你洗? How can I clean you if you are not dirty?
去涂上些东西 我好给你舔干净 Go put something on that I must clean off with my tongue.
噢 涂什么都行 Ohh. Anything for a French person.
如果你非要不可得话 芙兰琳 If you insist, Frlein.
啊 Ah!
太妙了 Oh, yeah.
看看你 可怜的象个小老鼠 Look at you, you pathetic, Iittle weasel.
我能不能只看表演? Can't I just watch?
如果你不想 可以什么也不做 Look, you don't have to do anything if you don't want to.
等等 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
别总破坏角色 Don't break character ever again.
我不管凯文能不能受得住 芬奇已经把他的"小弟弟"咬掉了 Okay? I don't care if Kevin starts crying because Finch bit his cock off.
你演流氓女警 你演胆小少女 我是需要被惩罚的小流氓 You're a dirty cop, you're a prissy maid and I am your filthy cabana boy in need of much punishment and cleaning.
不许你这样跟克瑞斯托长官讲话 Don't you ever mouth off to Officer Krystal,
- 你这个小地痞 - 好的 - you dirty, Iittle pervert! - Okay.
从现在开始 听我的命令 我听 我听 Now, obey! I obey! I obey!
上帝啊 Jesus!
伙计们 我们还准备了晚饭? Guys, are we having dinner?
到了 我来开门 Here, Iet me get that.
惨了 史勒 Holy shit! Stifler.
我为你们准备了一道非常棒的菜 我们喜欢意外的惊喜 I've got something really nice cooking up for you. Well, we love surprises.
史勒 你没跟吉姆说过要开派对? 我没跟他这些 但我问过他 Stifler, you said you spoke to Jim. I did. I was secret about it and everything.
他说今晚只有他在家 你身上涂的什么?狗屎? He said he'd be the only one here tonight. What the fuck, shit-brick?
是巧克力 狗屎... Chocolate. Ah, sh...
我告诉大家你们会跟我父母出去 Now, I told everyone that you were up north with my parents.
好 所以没人会打搅我们了 可以完全毫无顾虑的放松一下了 Okay. So we won't be bothered. We can just, uh, totally relax and no worries.
请进 Please come on in.
就象在自己家一样 这边走 谢谢 Make yourselves at home. Right this way. Thank you.
噢 Sir.
怎么了? What?
粉红色的玫瑰 Pink roses.
粉红色的玫瑰 对 Pink roses. Yeah.
太漂亮了 是吧? 是塑料的 做的很象 They're nice, aren't they? Yes. Artificial. Nice try.
差点把你骗过了吧 Well... I almost got ya.
是的 Yeah. Well.
蜜雪儿跟你们说过我们是如何相爱的吗? So, has Michelle ever told you the story of how we fell in love?
你再给我们讲一遍吧 Oh, why don't you retell us now?
我最喜欢讲这个 可以开始了吗? It's... It's one of my favourite stories. Where should I begin?
嗯... Um...
让我看看 嗯... Let's see. Uh...
开始是在... Well, I suppose, uh... I suppose it all started at, um...
大树 Tall Oaks.
对 大树下 That's-That's right. At Tall Oaks.
当时是夏天... That was the summer when, uh... Oh!
夏天很热 Oh! The summer that was so hot.
实在很热 噢 看我都说了些什么 So hot. All right. Look what I got.
上帝 Jesus!
嗨 你好 你好 Hey there. Hi there.
吉姆 我简直不敢相信你 Hey. Jim, I cannot believe you.
- 你不能不信我 - 你还雇了个服务生?根本没这个必要 - You can't? - You hired help on our account? That is entirely unnecessary.
我可以给你们倒酒 But I will have some of that wine, sir.
- 要说"请"字 哈若德 - 当然了 请倒吧 - Say, "Please," Harold. - Please. Of course.
很明显这就是他在这儿的原因 Absolutely. It's what he's here for, is-is the wine, obviously.
是的 很明显 你还会做些什么? Yes. Evidently. What else would you be here for?
非常荣幸得到你的允许 先生 And-And-And I certainly appreciate your-your-your courtesy, sir.
好的 Ah. Uh, well, yes.
我们有一瓶1999年的 Uh, we have... we have right here a 1999...
红葡萄酒 cabernet seve... um...
壮阳的红酒 full-bodied, masculine wine.
是配出来的 Just shouts sophistication.
- 吉姆 - 恩 - James. - Yes.
你也很奇怪我会在这里吧 是有点 Well, I can see you're very surprised to see me here. A little bit.
我得去看看我的狗怎么样了 好的 好的 I'm going to go check on the dogs. Yes, yes!
对 是该去看看... In fact, why don't you both go check on the dogs and...
不用去了 它们很好 No, no, no. Don't check on the dogs. They're fine.
- 你怎么知道? - 因为我刚刚看过他们 - How do you know? - Because I just checked on the dogs.
因为他刚刚看过 做的好 伙计 我看过了 Because he just checked on the dogs. Good work, man. I did.
- 吉姆 我去帮你做火鸡 - 好 - Jim, I'll help you with the turkey. - Okay.
我在这儿陪你 Um, and I'll keep you company.
谢谢 Thank you. Whoo.
你做这个多久了... So, how long have you been a sommelier, Mr., um...
我叫贝尔威德 夫人 噢 贝尔威德 Belvedere, ma'am. Oh. Belvedere.
这里有点冷 It's chilly in here.
我们要呆多久? So, how long do we have to stay in here for?
我也不知道 他们说我们得藏起来 I don't know. They said to hide.
可能要等他们来叫我们 I guess we'll just wait for 'em to call us.
怎么这么倒霉 Who knows what kind of kinky shit they're getting ready for us.
这是你屁股里的?还是我的? Do these go in your ass tonight or mine?
盘子在哪? Do you have a serving dish ready?
- 吉姆 - 什么? - Jim. - Hmm?
给我盘子 哦 对 当然了 We need a serving dish. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of course.
- 噢 - 怎么了 - Oh! - What?
- 没什么 - 你怎么这么兴奋 - Nothing. - Then why the excitement?
我以为盘子碎了 I thought, uh, the-the dish was broken.
碎了吗? 没有 Well, is it? No.
能拿到吧? 能 Then, are you going to get it? Yes.
给你盘子 很好 Here you go. One serving dish. Excellent.
还得要个切菜板 Now what we need... a cutting board.
不...等等 怎么了? Huh? No, no, no, no! Stop! What?
我来给你拿 真搞不懂你 我可以拿到 L-I will get it for you. Nonsense. I can get a cutting board.
看看 拿到了吧 这个应该做得漂亮些 Ah, Iet's see. There you go. This should do nicely.
我想要在火鸡上倒些白酒就更好了 I presume we're having white wine with the turkey.
哦 我去找白酒 Uh, Iet me go check.
这儿是怎么了 What happened here?
噢 那是些...泥 Oh, um, that... that's mud.
本来想今天早上把这些打扫干净 真不好意思 I meant to clean that up this morning. How embarrassing.
会留下污迹的 给我找个拖把 That's gonna stain. We're gonna need a mop.
我去拿 在这个壁橱里 I'll get it. It's in this closet.
噢 不 拖把不在这里 Oh! No, no, no! No, it's not.
- 在那边 - 不在这个壁橱里 - It's in there. - It's not in this closet...
我放到别的地方了 because l-I, um... I moved it... I moved it.
哪里?我去拿 Well, where? I'll go get it.
我忘了放到哪儿了 L-I don't... I don't remember.
你忘了? You don't remember?
我忘了 因为...我根本就用过 You know why I don't remember is because I actually did not move it.
是打扫房间的人用过的 The cleaning lady did.
你妈妈没说过请清洁工 Your mother said you don't have a cleaning lady.
她怎么这样说... 是你叫我 主人? I don't know why she would say such a... You called, master?
该死 你在这儿... Holy... Well, there you are.
你好 你好 Hello. How do you do?
哦 这个就是清洁工 Uh, so, cleaning lady,
我们在找拖把 we were wondering where... where the mop was.
主人把拖把放进我的"屁股"里了 Master put the mop in my fanny.
- 你的哪里? - 谁放在那儿了? - You what? - Who put what where?
我从没放过... I did no such thing anywhere.
可以开始打扫了? Shall I clean?
哈若德 Harold.
非常好 这里真热 Very well. It is so hot in here.
上帝啊 Holy Jesus!
布兰迪 你在干什么 这儿不是东欧 Oh, Brandi, Brandi. What are you doing? You're not in Eastern Europe anymore.
你不能这样 很抱歉 我的表妹对这里的风俗还不太了解 You can't do that. I am so sorry about my ... my cousin. She's not used to our customs.
吉姆 很抱歉还没向你介绍她 Jim, I apologize for recommending her to you.
顺便给你这个 Oh, here's, uh... here's this, by the way.
找到拖把了 Ah, yeah. Got the mop.
布兰迪 你把拖把忘在车里了 Brandi, you left the mop in the car. Hmm?
噢 我想起来了 应该叫车 不叫屁股 Now remember, it's called a car, not a fanny.
记得你上次叫我开你的"烂屁股"车吗? 当然记得 You remember last time when you wanted me to take a ride in your fanny? Of course.
亲爱的 我很抱歉 Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
我们该走了 You know what? We should probably just go.
很抱歉 我只是想进来看看是不是一切正常 I'm so sorry about this. I just came by to make sure everything was in order.
味道好香 Ooh, food smells great!
再见 Au revoir.
吉姆 你的朋友们都很怪 Jim, you have unique friends.
哈若德 把这里打扫一下吧 Harold! Let's get that cleaned up.
我记得在这里有些抹布 Um, I think I saw some Pine-Sol in here too.
啊... 天啊 Aye-yay-yay. Oh, my God!
我的上帝 Oh, my Lord.! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
你没事吧? 你还好吗? He's okay. Are you all right? Are you okay?
这是谁干的? 我肯定他没事 你还好吗? Who did this to you? I'm sure he's okay. Are you okay?
得找人帮忙 哈若德 打电话叫警察 不要 Get some help! Harold, call the police! No, no, please.
- 好吧 - 上帝啊 - All right! - Jesus!
这里交给我来处理 I'll take charge from here.
- 他们来的真快 并且穿着这么迷人 - 发生了什么事? - They are fast here. And nicely attired. - What's going on here?
- 她是来保护你们 为你们服务的 - 安静 - She's here to protect and serve. - Quiet!
- 好的 - 谁把这个小伙子从壁橱里救出来的? - Okay. - Who let this boy out of the closet?
看来得给你们来些严厉的惩罚 You are all in for a hard punishment now.
不要碰他 他受伤了 Don't you touch him. He's been hurt.
- 不 这才叫受伤 - 喔 - No, this is hurt! - Ow!
你不能这样 安静 傻瓜 You can't do that. Silence, fucker!
喔 你喜欢这样吧 Ow! Oh, you like it.
哈若德! Oh! Harold!
你怎么回事 我的意思是"嗷" What's gotten into you? I meant "ow."
三八 闭嘴 服从命令 Dirty whore! Shut your hole! Obey!
别这样 You can't do that.!
- 你是警戒的耻辱 - 我会给你"灌肠" - You're a disgrace to the police force. - I'll be giving you an enema!
嗨 快帮我解开啊 Hey, somebody untie me.!
停 好了 别演了 Back off! All right, forget it. We give up.
史蒂文! 史蒂文! Oh, Steven! Steven!
没关系 玛丽 这里到底怎么了 Oh, it's okay, Mary. What's going on?
停 这些不管用 伙计们 Listen. This isn't working, guys.
克瑞斯托 你可以停止表演了 她不是真正的警察 Krystal, you can drop the act. This isn't a real cop.
凯文没有被绑架 Kevin wasn't assaulted.
我只是想给吉姆一个表现的机会 I just wanted to make Jim look good for you guys.
象个真正的英雄 就象我这样 Like a real hero. Kind of like me.
所以 我们雇了个假警察 并绑上凯文 把他放到橱柜里 So, we hired a fake cop and we tied up Kevin and put him in the closet.
本打算让吉姆来救他 亲手放他出来 Jim was supposed to rescue him, untie him, give him mouth-to-mouth.
我不知道会搞成这样 I don't know what he likes to do.
这个是芬奇雇的小姐 You know, and then Paul Finchhired an exotic dancer instead of a real actor.
吉姆 这都是真的? Jim, is this true?
- 句句是真 - 这是我见过的最蠢的主意 - Every word of it. - That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard.
你让大家都感到害怕了 You've embarrassed me and Harold and Mr. Belvedere.
都是我的错 我是个坏小子 It's all my fault. I'm a bad person.
你并不是个坏小子 你只是想帮你最好的朋友 Oh, you're not a bad person. You were just trying to help out your best friend.
这是个馊主意 你应该事先好好想清楚 And it was an awful idea. But I suppose it's the thought that counts.
事实上 You know, actually, um...
我并没阻止 Actually, I-I never should have allowed...
这件疯狂的计划 such a... such a crazy plan to happen in the first place.
如果要怪的话 就怪我吧 If you're gonna blame anybody here, blame me.
对不起 吉姆 我没想到会施加了这么多压力给你 Well, I'm sorry, Jim. I didn't realize how much pressure we put on you.
我相信你们都会吸取教训了 I'm sure you both learned your lesson and I suppose I understand.
吉姆 如果你把今晚一半的精力用在你的婚礼上 Jim, if you put half as much energy into your marriage as you put into tonight,
我肯定会送给你最好的祝福 I'm confident that I can give you my blessing.
史蒂文 我们仍然爱你 亲爱的 And, Steven, we still adore you, honey.
我想我知道该把这个交给谁保管了 In fact, I think I know who should hold onto this.
我们爱你 你要好好保管它 We adore you. You'll take good care of it.
你没骗我吧? 是真的 You've gotta be kidding me. No.
看 吉姆 凯文 这可是这次婚礼中的一个非常重要的任务 Look it, Jim. Kevin. Boy, this really makes me important to the wedding, huh?
是的 Yes.
贝尔威德先生 这肯定会是个乱七八糟的婚礼 Well, Mr. Belvedere, it's gonna be one fucked-up wedding.
肯定是 Absolutely.
开车时小心点 书房里还有很多包 Drive carefully. There's more bags in the study.
谢谢 不客气 Thank you. You're welcome.
有我的地方吗? Ow! Is there any room for me?
没了 Uh, nope.
那这一路只能我自己开车了 Oh, I'll just drive up north all by myself.
好的 我们一会见 That sounds good. We'll see you later.
那我陪你 谢谢 凯登丝 No, I'll drive with you. Oh, thanks, Cadence.
- 美女 - 当然了 - Beautiful lady. - Sure.
嘿 芬奇... 我知道 闭嘴 凯文 Hey, Finch... I know, shut up. Kevin.
妈妈早上看到那两只狗在玩那些球 她不知那是做什么用的 So, my mom found the dogs playing with something unusual this morning.
什么? 我告诉她 是用来做按摩的 What? I told her it was a neck massager.
厉害 Oh, these are great.
高兴吧? 恩 Hilarious, huh? Yeah.
这真让我打瞌睡 That kind of thing's so lethargic to me.
什么意思? What do you mean?
我也不知道 I'm not sure.
史勒先生 我已经告诉你了... Mr. "Stifler," I already told you...
你在两天前退掉了你预定的房间 you called two days ago and cancelled your reservation.
如果你还想住在这儿 Since you now wish to stay here,
你应该跟芬奇先生商量 跟他住一个房间 I thought you could persuade Mr. Finch to share his room.
嗨 猪头先生 我没取消过预定的房间 Hey, shithead. I didn't cancel my reservation.
是衰鬼芬奇先生打电话来 Mr. Fuckface Finch called here,
是这个大白痴退的房间 and Mr. Idiot-Behind-The-Desk cancelled it.
克里斯托福 我的朋友太粗俗 你别介意 Kristof, please pardon my friend's uncouth behaviour.
不是我退的房间 I did no such thing.
也不是我退的 Nor did I, sir,
蛮横和脏话不会在这里起到任何作用 and your rudeness and obscenities won't change anything.
那好吧 我不计较了... Oh. Well, then, I guess it doesn't matter...
如果我能这样称呼你: 衰鬼 手淫狂 跟芬奇一样弱智 if I call you a crotch-face, you ball-scratching Finch-fucker.
- 或者更难听点 去为你爸爸"吹喇叭" - 我爸爸? - Or better yet, go blow your dad! - My dad?
听着 听着 Hear, hear!
你还手指插他的屁股 While you're there, stick a finger up both their asses.
哦 Oh.
哦 嘿 嗨 Um, uh, hey. Hi.
芬奇 蛮横和脏话不能解决任何问题 Um, Finch, rudeness and obscenity won't change anything.
我有个好主意: 找一块地 种下一些卵蛋 Here's a thought. Grow a sack, fill it with some balls,
快速培育成"小弟弟" 插进你的屁股里 强奸你自己 magically sprout a dick, shove it up your ass, start fucking yourself with it.
爽极了... Yeah, baby!
你能听懂我说的吧? Whoo! Baby, you know what I'm sayin'? Oh!
噢...噢...噢... Ohh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
妙极了 实在是太恶心了 Yeah! This is disgusting!
少跟你的那个下流的欧洲表妹来往 - Why don't you go dust with your perverse European cousin?
她也在这? 真是不敢相信 Is she here? Unbelievable.
我想给我的丈夫预订一次高尔夫球训练 I'd like to book a tee time for my husband...
给我预订一次欧式南瓜片面疗 and a European pumpkin-peel facial for me, please.
订两个 Ooh! Make that two.
这个周末你一定很会开心 妈妈 You're gonna have a fun weekend, Ma.
我的香皂不见了 不用担心那个 I am missing my soap. Well, don't you worry about your soaps.
你能推快点吗? 我累了 Will you push faster? I'm tired.
等一会你会见到蜜雪儿 你会喜欢她的 她象糖一样甜 And wait till you meet Michelle. You're gonna love her. She's sweet as sugar.
我不能吃糖 我知道 因为你有糖尿病 I can't eat sugar. I know, because you're diabetic.
妈妈 我知道你最近身体不太好 You know, Ma, I know things haven't been going well for you. I know that.
但你也应该参加明天吉姆的婚礼 But wait till you see Jim standing up there at the altar tomorrow.
我是想说 在最令人高兴的时候 你也应该感到高兴 I mean, if ever there was a time to be happy and smile the biggest smile,
现在就是这个时候 好吧 好吧 now is the time. Okay. Okay!
我非常高兴 I'm overjoyed.
这...这就是个好的开始 That's... That's a start.
伟大的奶奶来了 Proud grandmother coming through.
你的宝贝孙子明天就要结婚了 Grandsons getting married tomorrow.
你看她现在高兴吗? 明天再看吧 You think she's happy now? Wait till tomorrow.
祝福你们 Congratulations.
修饰 Grooming.
看起来大了点儿 What do I have to say You got bigger.
花放在冷冻柜里 明天再拿出来 The flowers stay refrigerated until morning.
能和现在一样鲜艳 当然了 Just as we made them. Oh, I'm sure they will.
噢 天啊 Oh, my...
- 噢 - 噢 吉姆 不是吧? - Oh! Ah! - Oh, Jimmy, no!
对不起 对不起 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
我希望你们下次会小心些 I hope you'll be more careful with the next one.
我的厨房不是卫生间 好吗? My kitchen is not a toilet. Okay?
孩子 在我谈恋爱的那个年代 有阴毛不是问题 Boy, pubic hair was just not an issue when I was dating.
女士们不会抱怨... The ladies, uh, never complained when they were...
在下面那个部位长阴毛 you know, down in that general area.
好 能不能不提这件事了? Okay, if you never mention that ever again, that'd be great.
好的 不提了 真不该提起它 You're right. No, no, no. Okay. Shouldn't have brought it up. Maybe...
不能 我保证过要妥善保管它 它不会离开我的口袋 Nope. Promised to keep it safe. It's not leaving my pocket.
好吧 弗若多 Okay, Frodo.
你真的很重视这个婚礼吧? You really care about this wedding, don't you?
是啊 我想快想疯了 Yeah. I'm gonna cry at the ceremony.
看出来了 I know it.
你总是这样? Are you just saying all of this?
我是说 你会不会假装很斯文? 比如在我面前 I mean, do you act differently around certain people? Namely me.
当然不是 为什么?你在我面前装假了? Of course not. Why? Do you act differently around me?
当然没有 我就是我 别人不喜欢 那是他们的问题 对吧? Generally I'm just me. If people don't like it, then that's their problem, right?
就是 干那些傻瓜们 Yeah. Fuck those fuckers.
什么? What?
我没有... 对 你说的对 去他们的 L-I didn't... No, you know, you're right. Fuck 'em.
- 嗨 哈若德 玛丽 - 嗨 孩子们 - Hey, Harold and Mary. - Oh, hi, kids. - Hi.
玩的怎么样? How's it going?
谢谢...谢谢你帮我们看狗 Thanks for, um... Come on. Thanks for watching the dogs.
我喜欢这些家伙 嘿 你们想吃糖吗? 想不想?给你们 I love these guys. Hey, you guys want more Snausages? Huh? There you go.
- 吃吧 伙计们 - 你也要? - Eat 'em up, fellas. - Give me some.
噢 给你 我想我没有了 Oh, there you go. I don't think I have any left.
- 怎么了? - 噢 死了 - What's wrong? - Oh, shit.
- 没事吧? - Are you okay?
没事 Yeah.
你亲了史勒? 是的 不过他有点反常 You kissed Stifler? Yeah, but then he freaked.
他好象喜欢狗多过我 And it's like he's been paying more attention to the dogs than me.
能不能不想他? 蜜雪儿 我想我真的喜欢上他了 Can I stop worrying then? Michelle, he's been nothing but nice to me.
你认为他真的喜欢你吗?就好象... I mean, do you think he really likes you? Like...
我不知道 希望他会喜欢我 I don't know. I hope he likes me.
我的意思是...我想他喜欢我 I mean, I think he likes me.
我们...我猜他喜欢我 We're... Well, yeah, I guess I hope he likes me.
快点 Do it.
别浪费时间了 Don't fuck around.
放松 放松... Just relax and let it go.
我等得不耐烦了 I'm sick of waiting.
求你了 Do it for Daddy.
是不是你刚拉过屎了? Will you just take a shit already?
太好了 Great.
你不是把戒指喂给狗吃了吧? You fed the ring to the dogs, didn't you?
当然没有 Of course not.
你已经盯着它们一天了 You have been staring at those dogs like a hawk all day.
我喜欢狗 I'm a dog lover.
顺便告诉你... Oh, and by the way...
你刚刚错过了凯登丝亲我镜头 apparently you missed when Cadence kissed me.
互相用舌头交缠的动作 Slight tongue action too.
就好象这样... It was something like this.
你可真会编故事 史勒 You're a terrible liar, Stifler.
要是我撒谎 可能是漏掉了比接吻还刺激的 If I were lying, I'd think of something better than a kiss.
可能是"吹喇叭"或者捏乳头...什么的 Maybe a blow job or some titty grabbin'.
没有妹妹会泡你 芬奇 No pussy for you, Finch.
真是太他妈的好了 狗狗 Oh, fuckin' right, doggy!
真倒霉 中奖了 It's about goddamn time. Jackpot.!
如果你不介意 我去把狗屎拿开 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.
太好了 Great!
谢谢了 混蛋 Thanks, assholes.
你也许该给他们打电话 好的 You know, maybe you can call them. Oh, okay.
史勒 快过来 Steve, come over here.
我正忙 Uh, I'm a little busy.
忙什么?快过来 我们需要你 With what? Come on over. We need you.
- 快过来 你这个小坏蛋 - 我们正谈到蜜雪儿的结婚戒指 - Get over here, you little rascal. - We were just talking about Michelle's wedding band.
我能看看吗? Could I see it?
不能 Um, no.
- 不能? - 没在我身上 - No? - I don't have it.
什么?你是说你把它丢了? 当然没有 What? You mean you lost it? Of course not.
我把它放在一个安全的地方了 你真是个傻冒 I'm keeping it safe in my room, you silly Sally.
- 真抱歉 - 没关系 我过会再看吧 - I apologize. - That's fine. I'll just see it later.
那没什么事了 你手里拿着什么? Okay. All right then. What do you have in your hand there?
- 这只手? - 另一个 - This one? - No, the other one.
是巧克力饼干 噢 美味 It's a chocolate truffle. Ooh, yummy.!
你从哪儿拿的? Where did you get that?
厨房的人说明天会提供这个 Oh, the caterer said she was saving the truffles for tomorrow.
你这个小滑头 You sneaky devil.
我趁她没注意时 偷偷拿了一块出来 Well, hey, I managed to sneak one right past her.
快点嘛 你知道她喜欢吃巧克力 Oh, come on. This woman loves chocolate.
- 至少该给她一小块 - 给我吃吧 - At least give her a tiny nibble. - Give it to Mama.
她不会喜欢这个味的 只剩下最后一块了 Mama don't want this. This is the only piece that I have.
- 傻瓜 - 那就掰成两块 快点 - Idiot. - Well, break it in half. Come on.
知道吗? 这个惊喜应该留到明天 对不对? You know what? Let's just leave the surprises till tomorrow, huh, guys?
- 明天肯定会非常棒 - 但我现在就象要这个惊喜 - It's gonna be a great day. - I'd like my surprise right now.
- 不行 这块是我的 - 史蒂文 快给我 - No, it's mine! - Steven, give it to me.
- 不行 - 给我这个巧克力 - No. - Give me the "G" darn truffle.
史蒂文 你可真自私 Steven, that is so selfish.
好吃吗? 很甜吧? Mm, it's good. Is it? Is it sweet?
太甜了 It's so sweet.
你该闭上嘴仔细品尝 史蒂文 不要这样 Close your mouth when you chew, Steven. Don't do that.
至少该向这位巧克力狂热爱好者 描述一下它的味道吧 At least you could describe to the lovely woman how delicious it is.
味道就象葡萄和草莓一样 Well, tastes like twigs and berries.
是那种瑞士或法国式的巧克力吗? Is it Swiss or French chocolate?
也许是德国式的 噢 是吗? Maybe German. Oh, really?
是吧 含奶油吗? Uh-huh. Is it creamy?
是的 含奶油 很滑口 对吗? Yeah, it's creamy. Easy to go down, right?
我得好好回味一下这个味道 Well, I'm trying to savor the flavor right now.
- 新鲜吗? - 非常新鲜 - Is it fresh? - Oh, it's so fresh.
新鲜的时候是最好吃的了 是最好吃了 Nothing better than when they're fresh. Nothing better.
麻烦就是这么好吃的东西就想多吃 对吗? The problem is you can't eat just one, can ya?
是啊 越吃越想吃 你知道什么都该适可而止 对吧 No. No, you can't. But you've got to know when to stop, don't you?
是的 但很难做到 是很难 You really do, but it's hard. It's really hard.
这是上帝赐给我们的美味 对 Droppings from the gods. Ooh!
再去给拿我一块 亲爱的 快点 Get me another one, darling. Come on.
你这个自私的家伙 下次多给大家偷些 You selfish boy. Next time, bring enough for everybody.
嘿 不要泄露这个秘密 好吗? Hey, Iet's keep this to ourselves. Huh? Okay?
好的 我先走了 好吗? Okay. I gotta go, okay?
别吃太多 会破坏你的食欲 Don't have any more because it's gonna spoil your appetite.
好 嘿 伙计 我得走了 Okay. Hey, Iook, man. I gotta go.
回见 See ya.
奶奶 我来给你介绍些朋友 Grandma, I want you to meet some people.
奶奶 这个就是蜜雪儿 Grandma, this is Michelle.
我非常高兴能加入到你们的家庭里 I'm so proud to be joining your family.
她很漂亮 是吧? She's real pretty, huh?
她是不是太棒了?我们就要结婚了 Isn't it great? We're getting married.
实在是太妙了 奶奶 It's amazing, Gram.
不要跟犹太人结婚 不要结婚 吉姆 不要结婚 Not Jewish. No wedding, Jimmy! No wedding.
不要结婚 不要犹太人 奶奶? Forget it. Goy.! Grandma?
- 可恶 - 吉姆 他讨厌我 - Shit. - Jim, she hates me.
天啊 奶奶 Oh, my God! Grandma!
奶奶 我喜欢她 Grandma, we love each other.
我们是真心相爱的... Michelle and I love each other very much.
才会有明天的婚礼 奶奶 奶奶 And that's all that matters. Grandma.! Grandma.
蜜雪儿 蜜雪儿 Michelle. Michelle.
奶奶那边不用担心 But, uh, Grandma's okay.
奶奶没什么事吧 爸爸 我想她只是有点累了 Oh, she's okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, Dad. She's okay. She's just a little tired.
是的 你奶奶最近身体不大好 Okay. My mother hasn't been well.
你父亲看到奶奶这样时 When your dad sees the look on Grandma's face...
他...非常难过 it's... it's gonna break his heart.
都是我的错 不是因为你 Because of me. It's not because of you.
蜜雪儿 这跟你一点关系都没有 Michelle, it's not because of you at all.
奶奶还以为现在是十九世纪 It's because Grandma thinks it's 1801.
别担心了 我来解决 Look. Don't... Don't worry. I will... I'll come up with something.
我保证 婚礼会进行的跟你梦想的一样 I promised you the wedding of your dreams,
我不会让任何事破坏它的 and I'm not gonna let anything ruin it.
哦 Oh.
我来献几句敬酒词 I would like to propose a toast.
最近这几天 对我和我夫人来说实在非常重要 These last few weeks have really been something for my lovely wife and me.
认识了很多以前不认识的朋友 We have met some people we didn't know existed.
实现了很多被认为是不可能的事情 We've experienced some things we didn't think were possible.
我们总是尽全力把任何事情做到最好 We've always tried to make the best of every situation.
- 现在就很好 - 这正是我想说的 - This is a good situation. - That's what I'm saying.
现在就是一个完美的时刻 This is a wonderful situation.
让两个背景完全不同的人结合在一起 The coming together of two families from different backgrounds.
因此 我要对我们的新女婿说句 "爱尔兰长青" So, to our new son-in-law, may we say Erin Go Braugh.
对我的宝贝女儿蜜雪儿说句 祝幸福 To our lovely daughter Michelle, I'chaim.
- 我的发音还可以吧 - 非常好 - Did I get that right? - Very good.
祝愿我们会永远和睦的共处 Uh, and let's hope we can sip many happy shivas together.
这将是个完美的婚礼 Here's to a wonderful wedding.
干杯 Cheers.
看到没有 猪头 我说过我会赢 See that, shit-brick. Told you I won.
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey.
我只想跟你说 如果上次的接吻让你感觉怪怪的 我很抱歉 So, I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I freaked you out with the whole kiss thing.
我一点也没觉得怪 You didn't freak me out.
我只想让你知道... I just wanted to let you know that...
你让我觉得自己很特殊 you make me feel special.
你是我认识的女孩中最特殊的一个 I think you're the most special girl I've ever known.
也许你会想让今晚度过得更特殊 Maybe you'd wanna make things extra special tonight.
你的房间是多少号 Which room is yours?
我跟凯文挤在一个房间 I'm crashing at Kevin's.
该死 我看到... Damn. But I saw...
走廊尽头那个铺着毛地毯的那个房间 like a big, fluffy linen closet at the end of the main hallway.
好啊 我喜欢毛地毯 Yes. Big, fluffy linen closet is good. Okay.
今晚12点?好吗 好的 Midnight? All right. Yeah. Okay.
噢 Oh!
就要跟凯登丝做爱 Gonna have sex with Cadence
哇哦 嗯嗯 Whoo! Uh-huh.
天啊 Cadence Jesus!
你这个该死的幽灵 You fuckin' stalker.
你怎么象个小偷 You're nota very stealthy thief.
是吗?猪头 这是婚礼 Oh, really? Guess what, shit-brick, it's a wedding.
全都是免费的 你想干什么 Everything's free. What do you want?
史勒 吉姆的奶奶不赞同这门婚事 Well, Stifler, Jim's grandma doesn't approve of the wedding.
我们想去说服她 We're trying to run interference and,
实在是不得已 才想请你帮忙 reluctantly, I am asking for your help.
对不起 芬奇大人 我和凯登丝有约会 Hmm. Sorry, Finch-meister. I got plans with Cadence.
史勒 你就不能让你的"小弟弟"闲一会? Stifler, maybe you could forget about your dick for one second and actually be useful.
我靠 芬奇 Fuck you, Finch.
你不要找屎吃 好吗? You didn't eat shit, okay?
你不要整天象个跟屁虫似的围着她 You didn't prance around here like a ballerina for the whole week.
尽说些"噢 婚礼啊"这个 "来亲我屁股吧"那个的 "Oh, wedding" this. "Suck my ass" that.
要不就是"我们很特殊 我们是一对特殊的傻瓜 对吗?" "I'm special. You're special." We're all just a bunch of special fuckers, aren't we?
你知道吗?我要去做爱了 傻瓜 Well, you know what? I'm a-gonna get laid, Finch-fucker.
那将会...爽极了 And it's gonna be oh, so good.
感觉就象"你喜欢这块屎吧 妈妈?" It's gonna be like, "You like this shit, Mama?"
她肯定爱听这个 太他妈的正确了 宝贝 来吧... She's gonna be like, "Fuckin' right, doggy, give it to me.
亲我的乳头 就象是在挤奶 Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow."
就象... Like...
你来这很久了? You been here long?
噢 死了 Oh, shit.
也...凯登丝 Yeah. Cadence,
非常高兴的向你介绍 it is my distinct pleasure to introduce you...
- 这才是真正的史勒 - 嗨 - to the real Steve Stifler. - Hi.
嗨 Hi.
亲爱的... Pumpkin.
你可真是个绅士 史勒 You are quite the gentleman, Stifler.
你应该提醒我她在后面 You could have told me she was behind me.
奶奶 史勒和凯登丝 还有蛋糕 那块该死的蛋糕 Between Grandma and Stifler and Cadence. The cake. The cake!
这些事都是在耍我? 我得摆脱... I mean, are you kidding me? You know, I thought I had grown out of this...
这些荒唐的事 它们把我搞的乱七八糟 sort of behaviour, but I keep messing up.
还会不断发生这样的事 These things keep happening to me.
如果我现在不能解决这些 And if I can't bring it together for one day,
今后就别指望有好日子过了 how am I gonna hold it together for the rest of our lives?
我真的很担心这些 为什么我总会惹麻烦 I'm really afraid that this is how it's always gonna be.
真对 你总是自找麻烦 Yeah, but you always manage to get yourself into serious shit,
不管怎样 麻烦事过去了总比处在麻烦事中要好些 and somehow you always come out of it better than you went in.
也许你说的对 这些事都会慢慢好起来吧 I don't know how, but you do. Everything is gonna be fine.
你们得来厨房看一下 Yeah. Um, uh, you need to come into the kitchen right now.
这是... 上帝 现在怎么办? There's... Yeah. Jesus, now what?
要想现在重新订这些花是不可能的 对吗? There is no way to remake all these in time, is there?
一定是谁把电源关了 Something must have disrupted the power.
压缩机重新制冷需要一段时间 这些花会蔫的 The compressors need time to reset after a power loss, or they overheat.
老实说 现在温室变成烤炉了 Essentially, it turns the refrigerator into an oven.
是史勒昨晚关的开关 Stifler was in here earlier flipping switches.
蜜雪儿 对不起 Michelle, I am so sorry.
嘿 Hey!
噢 这些花儿怎么都蔫了 Ooh. Those flowers look hideous.
因为你做的好事 史勒 That's 'cause you killed them, Stifler.
你毁坏了这里的一切 You've ruined everything.
靠 你在说什么? F... What are you talking about?
你根本就不关心这次婚礼 还有任何人 You obviously don't care about this wedding or anyone in it.
凯登丝 Cadence.
吉姆? Jim?
狗屎 快说 Shit-brick, come on.
也许你离开会好些 史勒 Maybe you should just leave, Stifler.
好吧 再见 Fine. Adios.
一群笨蛋 这根本不是我的错 Fuckers, it's not my fault!
我又不是什么天才的爱因斯坦 I'm not an "intellectual Einstein". I'm not...
该死的 Damn it.!
靠 Fuck!
嘿 卖花的笨蛋们 你们在吗? Hey, flower fuckers, you there?
施氏花店 Zyskowski.
有人吗? Hello?
你们起来了吗? Are you awake?
快点 谁起来了? Come on. Come on. Anybody awake?
噢 Oh.!
- 你是施小姐? - 你是谁? - Are you Miss Zyskowski? - Who are you?
我就是把吉姆和米雪婚礼用的花弄蔫了的那个小子 I'm the guy who just killed all the flowers for the Levenstein-band geek wedding.
- 什么啊? - 是的 我就是那小子 - What? - Yeah, I'm that guy.
现在我想请你去你的花店 Now what I need you to do is drag your ass down to your little store,
把所有的花都扎起来 gather up some flowers, slice 'em and dice 'em,
运到婚礼的礼堂 jam 'em all together and cart that crap down to the wedding.
你是不是疯了? Are you completely insane?
- 你还不明白 - 老师说 - You have no idea. - Even if I overlook the fact...
你是我遇到的最无理的人 that this is the rudest thing I have ever encountered,
根本没有时间去重新做 there is no time to redo all that work.
我和我的四个帮手用了两整天才做完这些 I had four assistants working two full days on that wedding.
对不起 I'm sorry.
这是不可能的 It's impossible.
我们不能半途而废 We don't quit at halftime, ma'am!
只要付出努力就没有做不到的事 You don't score until you score!
这才是最关键的 亲爱的 That's the spirit, sweetheart.
大家都跟上 Pick up the pace.
只要大家一起努力 我们可以击败野猫队 You guys keep working this hard, we'll be able to beat the Wildcats.
大家还记得去年的比赛多么艰辛吧 You remember how tough they were last year.
加油 我们有信心 Come on. Let's see some determination.
有信心 Determination.!
加油 继续努力 Come on. Keep working.!
做的很好 卡驽 非常好 你也很好 德波尔 Good, Connor. Very good. Good, DeBoer.
小事一桩 我们来搞定它 Really sucks. Go fix it.
嘿 小子 玩的开心吧? 要不要给你来瓶滋补酒? Hey, party guy. Having a good time, huh? Can I get you a gin and tonic?
铃 等一下 你好 好的 Ring! Hold on a second. Hello. Okay.
是打给你的 叫你"快去干活 傻瓜" It's for you. It's "get to work, fucker."
今天 我们大家聚到一起 来庆祝两位非凡的年轻人... We are gathered here today to join these two great people...
神圣的结合... in a blessed union and bladdah, bladdah, bladdah and crap.
教练 这有点象同性恋婚礼 Coach, this is kinda gay.
实际就是 Yeah, it is.
做的好 嘿 没问题 Good work. Hey, no problem.
你象这样约会过? So, you got a date for this thing?
别勉强我... 对不起 Don't push it. Sorry.
臭狗屎 Holy shit.
这怎么可能? How the hell did this happen?
是奇迹 It's a miracle.
史勒 省省吧 猪头 我在干活 Stifler. Save it, dickhead. I'm working.
- 你真是个混蛋 - 我知道 - You're an asshole. - I know.
你的确是个混蛋 You really are an asshole.
谢谢 Thanks.
我的道歉还从没这样好过 I don't do apologies so good.
你的付出得了满分 太不可思议了 Well, you get an "A" for effort. This is amazing.
酷 Cool.
我总是考试不及格的人 I was always kind of a "C" student.
你做这些事不是只为泡我吧... So, did you do all this just to have sex with me...
还是你真的关心这次婚礼? or because you really care about the wedding?
两样都有 Both.
还有... And uh...
我喜欢你 I like you.
什么? What?
我喜欢你 I like you.
哦 这倒是句老实话 Well, that's an honest answer.
我得走了 I gotta go.
史勒刚刚送了支玫瑰给她 还向她求爱 Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it.
真是太阳从西边出来了 This is huge. It's... It's like watching monkeys use tools for the first time.
没有 No. Let's see.
她不喜欢那些太过滑头的家伙 She wasn't into the heavy intellectual stuff.
她倒是喜欢象我这样弱智的人 She actually liked me being that imbecile.
不知为什么 我想她也许更适合你 No, no, somehow I think she's probably better off with you.
谢谢 猪头 Thanks, shit-brick.
放屁 她讨厌又不是你 Ooh. Dick. Fucking hate not hating you.
我真的干过你妈 I did fuck your mom.
两次 Twice.
噢 感觉好点了 傻瓜 Ooh! That's better, fucker!
哇 可以走了? Oh. Whoa! Ready to go?
婚礼还没到时间 Um, the wedding's not for another hour.
我是指我们俩 No, I mean you and me.
等等 Hold on. Hold on.
我必须参加这个狗屁婚礼? Do I still gotta do this bullshit meeting?
史勒 不要总给吉姆破冷水 Stifler, you are not bailing on Jim.
靠 等我10分钟? Shit! Give me 10 minutes?
一会在壁橱那等你 壁橱那里 I'll meet you at the closet. The closet.
你找我 蜜雪儿? You wanted to see me, Michelle?
是的 坐吧 Oh! Okay, sit.
吉姆说你总是在他需要帮助的时候... So, uh, Jim said that you've always kind of been there for him...
帮助了他 所以我想你也能帮我 when he needed you, so I thought maybe you could help me.
吉姆这么说的? Jim said that?
有...什么麻烦? What's, uh... What's the problem?
好的 这个... OKay. Well I uh...
我还是不敢去宣誓 I still can't get my vows right.
从我第一次来月经以来 我还没有这样困惑过 Oh. I haven't been this confused since I got my first period.
那是任何女人都感到困惑的时候 That's a very confusing time for any young lady.
你知道 你的身体正在发生变化 You know, your body is going through, uh, changes.
一些东西流出来 一些东西流进去... Um, stuff coming out, stuff going in.
不是 我想让你帮忙解决宣誓 不是月经 Oh, no. I need help with my vows, not my period.
噢 宣誓 Oh, your vows. Your vows.
好的 继续说吧 Yes, uh, good. Um, go on.
吉姆想在婚礼见见男伴郎们 Jim just wants a groomsmen's meeting before the wedding.
时间不会太久 别让她和任何人聊天 It shouldn't take long. Just don't let her talk to anyone.
小心点 她很敏感 Be careful. She's feisty.
好 我们走吧 Okay, Iet's go.
嘿 兄弟们 谢谢大家出来见我 Hey, guys. Thanks for coming out here and meeting me.
我...只想说几件事 I, um... I just have a couple of things I wanna say.
真有病 This sucks.
我的声音不大吧? Did I say that out loud?
继续说 很好 Keep going. It's good.
现在 我正在你想你说过的话 凯文 Now, I thought about what you said, Kev.
是关于... 为什么我的麻烦最后好象总是能够解决 About, uh, about how my problems always seem to work out.
我认识到问题能解决的原因就是... And I realized that the reason things always work out...
因为你们总是一直在支持我 is because you guys have always been there to back me up.
也包括你 史勒 Even you, Stifler.
我第一次... For the first time in my life...
认识到 我不能再把任何事情搞砸了 I actually feel like I can't mess anything up.
真是不可思议 Which is pretty amazing.
因此 So, uh,
我想我只想说声: 谢谢你们 l-I guess I just wanted to say thank you.
谢谢 是的 谢谢? Thanks. Yeah. Thanks?
搞这么多事只想说句"谢谢"? This whole thing was about thanks?
噢 你太客气了 帅哥儿 Ooh! You're welcome, cock-block!
很好 吉姆 非常好 That was good, Jim. Real nice.
去准备你的婚礼吧 啊? Let's get you married. Hmm?
好的 Okay.
爱情实在难以描述 Love is very difficult to describe.
我明白你担心的...我是指你的婚礼 And I understand the angst. I mean, it's your wedding.
是很自然的 非常自然的 And it's natural. It's perfectly natural.
想描述这样的感觉是不可能的 But it's impossible to describe a feeling.
首先 没有不能实现的事 Okay, first, nothing is impossible.
我们谈得具体些 So, Iet's not focus on that.
仔细想想 蜜雪儿 为什么叫"做爱" Why do you think, Michelle, they call it "making love"?
我不知道 我只叫"干" I don't know. I just call it "boneing."
"干" Boneing.
哦 当你和吉姆做其它事情时... Well, when you're doing other things with Jim...
当你们不是..."干"时 when you're not, um, boneing...
你知道他的感觉会如何吗? how does he make you feel?
亲爱的 就好象...我想要"干" Horny, Iike I wanna bone.
但我们不可能从太阳升起到太阳下山 都一直做爱 亲爱的 But we can't be boneing from sunrise to sunset, dear.
噢 你没试过? Oh, you've never tried it?
我当然做过 我试过 I certainly have. I have. I've boned.
从早上到中午 不同的地点 From sunrise right through brunch, on more than one occasion.
除了"干" 我想人们还叫它为"做爱" But boneing aside, um, I think they call it "making love"...
因为你必须为爱付出 because you have to make love work.
就好象要包容和牺牲一样 You know, it's about compromise and sacrifice.
我认为吉姆为你做了很大的牺牲 And I think Jim has sacrificed for you.
上帝啊 他把他下面的阴毛都刮了 My God, he shaved his entire pubic region,
那是男人最敏感的地方 which would baffle most cultures around the world.
但是他也做了 是为你做的 But he did it, and he did it for you.
你说的对 爱不仅仅是种情感 You're right. Love isn't just a feeling.
它还会使你刮阴毛 It's shaving your balls.
谢谢了 爸爸 Thanks, Dad.
关于这些 我就不说的太具体了 I wouldn't get into too much detail on that.
对不起 让让 对不起 Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me.
噢 对不起 让让 Oh, yeah, excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me.
就要和凯登丝做爱了 啊哈 Gonna have sex with Cadence Uh-huh.
孩子 我想现在该是时候跟你说... You know, son, I think this is probably the right time to tell you that...
我知道了 爸爸 that... I know, Dad.
这里什么也看不到 I can't see anything here.
噢 原来你在这儿 Oh, there you are.
伙计们 你们在干什么 吉姆的奶奶哪去儿了? Guys, what are you doing? Where's Jim's grandma?
那个老婊子 我们得甩掉她 The old bitch sucked. We had to ditch her.
你们怎么了? 别担心 You what? Don't worry.
我们把她放在一个没人能找到的地方了 We put her someplace no one will find her.
凯登丝 你跑哪儿去了? 噢 小姐 Cadence, where are you going? Oh, Mom.
宝贝 我早就准备好了 Oh, baby. I'm so ready for this.
虽然你的身体跟我想象的不大一样 不过 没关系 Your body's not quite what I was expecting, but that's okay.
伟大的史勒会"干"到最深处 The Stif-man digs what's underneath.
你太出色了 我就想要... Oh, you are so beautiful. Oh, I just wanna...
史勒! 奶奶 Stifler.! Granny.!
奶奶?什么? 集中精神 集中精神 Granny? What? Focus! Focus! Focus!
出去 这不是你们所想象的 Out... It's not what it looks like!
关上该死的门 - Shut the fucking door!
听你的 老大 You got it, champ.
你真是个英雄 You're a hero.
嘿 天下女人都一样 Hey, pussy's pussy.
看我妈妈笑得多开心 Look at the smile on my mother's face.
知道吗?她盼着这一天很久了 Do you know how long she's been waiting for a day like this?
想象不到 I can't imagine.
我太高兴了 谢谢 I couldn't be happier. Thank you.
别看我 Don't.
祝你好运 谢谢你 先生 Good luck. Thank you, sir.
究竟如何让奶奶这么高兴的? What made Grandma come around?
芬奇说史勒跟她聊过 Finch said Stifler talked to her.
史勒? Stifler?
奶奶杀手 Grandmother fucker.
你是妈妈杀手 You're a motherfucker.
是的 我是 婊子养的 Yes, I am. Oh, you son of a bitch.
我会永远爱你 And I promise to love you for as long as I shall live.
蜜雪儿 你是我愿意用一生陪伴的女人... Michelle, you are the one woman I want to be with...
是我不可缺少的女人 and the woman I can't be without.
我爱你 I love you.
吉姆 Jim,
我无法表达我对你的爱 I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel.
我认识到一些事 And I realized something.
爱不仅仅是一种感受 Love isn't just a feeling.
爱是你所具有的一切 Love is something you do.
衣着 来乐队训练营看我 It's a dress, a visit to band camp.
独特的"发型" A special haircut.
吉姆 你给了我一切我想要的 Jim, you've given me everything I've ever wanted.
这是我庄严的宣誓... And it is my solemn vow...
我将给你我所拥有的一切 to give everything I am to you.
吉姆 艾玛纽 莱文斯汀... James Emanuel Levenstein...
和蜜雪儿 阿娜贝丝 弗莱赫缇 and Michelle Anabeth Flaherty,
我在这里宣布你们成为夫妻 I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.
你可以亲吻你的新娘了 You may kiss the bride.
让我们欢迎吉姆先生和蜜雪儿小姐进舞池 Let's all welcome Mr. And Mrs. Jim and Michelle Levenstein onto the dance floor.
跟着我就行了 我会努力的 Just follow my lead. I'll try.
是我教他的 I taught him that.
吉姆 你去过跳舞了 Jim, you learned to dance.
好象任何事情都可以完美的解决 Well, seems like everything worked out. Magnificently.
我有点难过 我们的小蜜雪儿今晚就要变成女人了 I feel a bit sad that tonight our little Michelle is going to be a woman.
亲爱的 你不会真以为蜜雪儿还是个... Honey, you don't honestly believe that Michelle is still a...
玛丽 我一直他们无时无刻不在... Well, I'll tell you, Mary. I can't recall a single moment with either one of them...
否则我不会允许的 that would make me think otherwise.
谢谢 听到了吗? Thank you. See?
哇 Whew! Whoa!
嘿 硬汉 Hey, tough guy.
史勒的妈妈 Stifler's mom.
我们又见面了 Well, we meet again.
我有点好奇 怎么在这儿没见到你 I was curious. Didn't see you here.
我想尽量不引人注意 I try to keep a low profile.
虽然我从没这样真正做过 I never really did like these things anyway.
你知道 这个给我印象非常深 You know, this has actually made quite an impression on me.
让我冒出需要寻找一个女人的想法 I have something to look for in a woman now.
如果这是你的提议 Well, if this is your idea of a proposal...
芬奇 你该知道 我被你打动了 Finchy, you gotta know that I'm over you now.
我也被你打动了 And I'm over you.
就象人家常说的一样 巴黎永远都会存在 But as they say, we will always have Paris.
台球桌也是 汽车也是 And the pool table. And the car.
双人房 我的在楼上 我们走 And the two-room suite I have upstairs. Come here.
这一切比我梦想的还要好 Turned out better than I ever imagined.
有是什么使如此出色的小女孩喜欢上你这样的小男孩呢 How did a little perv like you turn into such a great guy?
是什么使如此完美的小伙子喜欢上你这样的小姑娘呢 How did a little nympho like you turn into such a great girl?
我还是个小女孩 我也还是个小男孩 I'm still a nympho. Oh, I'm still a perv.
我知道 我们之间有什么问题吗? I know. What's wrong with us?
蜜雪儿 You know, Michelle,
引用某人的话来说 我知道了一点 to quote someone I've learned quite a bit from,
我想你和我在一起... "I think you and I...
是件非常...非常自然的事 are a perfectly natural, normal thing."
非常自然 Perfectly natural.
那个是她 臭狗屎 公子哥儿 That's her. Holy shit, dude.
我告诉过你这个婚礼会值得参加 I told you this wedding would be worth it.
我的上帝 我的女皇 我的伯母 哦 Oh, my goddess. My queen. My MILF. Oh.
伯母 伯母 伯母... MILF. MILF. MILF. MILF.
伯母 伯母 MILF. MILF.
不 布罗! No way, bro!
嘿 你还没完?芬奇 Hey, you're not finished yet, are you, Finchy?
没完 夫人 刚刚开始 No, ma'am. Just getting started.
这小子真是做爱高手 This guy is the fucking master.
- 噢 不 - 阻止他 - Oh, no. Oh, no! - Make it stop. Make it stop.
阻止他 Make it stop.
噢 史勒的妈妈 Oh, Stifler's mom.